Commish's Corner© is a highly detailed and in-depth make believe look into Forx Hockey Leagues weekly matchups and other current events. Some of the names and locations may have been changed for no reason in particular...
It’s been a wild ride this year. That’s an understatement. The C-19 made us adapt but we made it this far… only a few weeks behind schedule.
Thank you to all the players: Penalty minutes were at an all-time low, showing absolute respect for fellow opponent and the purpose of the league itself.
Thank you to the Goalies: your attendance is crucial but more importantly those last-minute phone calls from the Commish to fill in, do not go unnoticed.
The League does not exist without reffing: thanks to Ryan I, Josh L, Bradley J, and Nate Dogg. I know they’d rather be listed on a roster each night, but they grind it out between the bluelines.
And as always, thanks to my Mother who calls every Thursday morning to make sure everything went ok Wednesday night.
Have a great offseason!
Week 17 Championship Pick
Russi….Red Pepper vs. Ground Round/Broods
So, then there were 2. Good cop vs. bad cop. Tiger King vs. Carole Baskin. 1 tender vs. 2 tenders. The rubber match affair after the two teams split the season series. Roster trouble brewing for the Broods as injuries and full-time jobs are set to plague the lineup. Broods need the B. Johs’s of the world to fill the shoes of those lost. Considered to be the Justin Bieber of the league, displaying little to no hockey grasp on the inside but ridiculously good-looking features on the outside, Johs has shown value this season from the 4th line. Forbey Snub, J. LaDouceur and D. Wurden need to play like Gods to upend the Red Army. Meanwhile, the Kremlin is reporting roster issues arising in the Pepper camp as all players with a 58104-area code have been banished from play… leaving 4 players remaining in the lineup. Juggling netminders has drawn confusion from the front office and after a worthy showing by Kvistad at last week’s noon skate, their options yet to be determined? Pepper will also look for help from fellas that may have slipped off the grid a little. C. Fugleberg, who’s yet to smile this season although fellow teammates have attempted several, failed tickling tactics, could be a player to watch out for after numbers this season were down following up to his rookie of the year honors last year. It’s been a hell of a season for both teams. The boys in red have the edge on paper… but that’s why they play the game. Best of luck to both squads.
Red P 8-7 OT
Week 16 Playoff Picks
Ground Round vs. Ground Round
Media frenzy this week as this matchup is filled with so much history and empty beer cans. Daydreams played a hellacious game last week as they hung on with a late, miracle goal off the stick of unsung hero, Riese Gaber comparable, A. Theisen. Regular weekly Covid protocol check in place this week as Daydreams Swiers is among the list after fellow linemates noticed him coughing up the puck multiple times last week. (Pause for laughter). The Commish continues to show signs of greatness, despite not scoring a goal in regulation in over a year, he’s noticeably buried many during pregame warmups… before the goalie goes in net. Broods are loaded and showcased their talent in a dominant win last week against the leagues Forbey Baker top finalist. The two teams in talks about simulating their game to rest bodies and combine rosters to create a ‘super team’ for the leagues championship, this is a developing story followed by inewZ’ own, Neil Carlson. In all seriousness, Ground Round needs to come out of the gates hard and put Ground Round on their heels. Ground Round will need to capitalize on any chances given to them. Ground Round moves on in this contest.
Ground Round 8-5
Golf Center vs. Red Pep
Traditionally the time of the season that Golf Centers M. Stjern begins to develop bed sores for the amount of bench riding minutes he puts in during post season play. Stjern able to help in other ways this week as he organized the team lunch at Burger Time at one of their picnic tables. All other 9 teams in the league would require an immediate Angioplasty after eating there but the young guys have been living off ramen noodles and beefaroni for 3+ years. GC’s expected to arrive to the rink wearing their unworn tuxedos after last years prom was canceled. The Pepper team, who has accumulated the Covid 19-pound average weight gain seen across the league, will be unable to follow their lead as they haven’t been able to fit into a suit since last March. The game will offer Forx fans plenty of speed and skill. Pepper will roster yet again two tenders for this one but the extra netminder will skate on the 2nd line, available if needed. GC’s will be the underdog leading up til puck drop. Rallying from 2+ goals in the 3rd period in their last 2 regulation games, they may face another rinse and repeat scenario. Pepper gets a lead and holds.
Week 15 Playoff Picks
Johnny’s vs. Broods
The round of 8 begins… Johnny’s snailed their way to a win last week. Nothing flashy in doing so, a game where them and BWW looked like they had both climbed out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and immediately started playing a hockey game. The Broods had 2 regulation losses this season, one of them at the hands of Johnny’s. Broods returned the favor in their 2nd meeting winning big with Forbey finalists, Wurden and J. LaDouceur scoring 4 and 3 points respectively; B. Johs also tallying 3 points in that contest but is irrelevant to this synopsis. Broods get timely contributions from all members on staff and with a weeks’ worth of rest and relaxation during the Bye week, guys like Hovet and young gun Sorlien, who vacationed together in Hovets time share in Minto, ND, will be ready to go. Forbey’s, leader in the clubhouse, Aaron ‘Rico’ Sauve, needs to be sharp from puck drop. He has a history of knocking powerhouse teams out of the playoffs (Red P 2019), and will need the Aarvig twins and Olson to follow suit. Broods have been #1 all year…they continue on…
AE2S vs. Red Pep
Viral video surfacing this week from a neighboring hockey league. Grainy video taken from either a flip phone or a russet potato, seen here, (viewer discretion advised) showing a line brawl. All players have been suspended and removed from the cross-town league… and have all subsequently joined the Pepper roster fulfilling what’s known as the ‘beer league circle of life’ in the Greater GF area. Peppers Cieklinski on the callups, “Taught them everything I know”. AE2S, who has already requested a documented roster check, rematches against the Pepper again this year as they did in the same round as last season. AE2S was able to strike early and pile on goals to have the Pepper struggle to climb back in to the game. These two played in an instant classic a few weeks back and more of the same is expected in this one. AE2S will need to capitalize on expected powerplay opportunities and use their speed to create plays. As mentioned before, they’re my sleeper team.
Rumors vs. GR-D
There’s no doubt the Commish is the hottest player in the league right now. Scoring a goal in the Bye week, although worthless, was the first scored in a calendar year. Not to mention, coming off a dominant noon skate tallying one there as well, the Commish is trying new tactics, i.e. keeping his stick on the ice…which was suggested by a fellow line mate. Once considered a decoy on the ice by opposing teams and unfortunately his own, the Commish is ready to again… most likely disappoint his teammates this week. Rumors is a pesky team. Their record does not reflect their skill. The Peoples goalie has always given the GR-D’s fits and Hegg and Knutson seem to bury a few every matchup. Coin toss affair that had the best chance of seeing the leagues first ever 3v3 overtime frame. Biased pick.
Adams vs. Golf Center
More viral videos surfacing this week. Adams member, Martinson, utilizing his off week in creating new ways to improve muscle memory and keep the body guessing. Seen here, he spent his week installing a mechanical bull into is apartment. As a bull rider, he thinks he can raise his game play back to where it was a year ago, on top of the charts. Martinson, who has now since been evicted from his residence, will need to work with fellow line mates, Greene who has been consistently showing up on the score sheet and Grinde who is back from injury. GC’s enter this week, as always, with muscly arms and smelling great. GC’s, R. Johnson, will be looking to put full attention on the game after being sidetracked by his lack of votes on the Forbey List. After deciding to use his birth name from now on, Arnie Ross Johnson, hopes that moving up the list alphabetically will help generate some votes. The artists formerly known as Spicy Pie have been in these playoffs and now how to make a run for the finale. They will tally early and often.
Week 14 Playoff Picks
iSight vs. AE2S
Forx Hockey March Madness underway and not much is needed to remind us all what time of the season. Nothing quite like the ever-familiar aroma of when you catch that first whiff of 13 weeks’ worth of hockey bag stank. On the topic of stank…iSights regular season record comes to mind and will need to be quickly forgotten. For a team that had little to celebrate this season and maybe lacked the flashy, muscly armed lineup, they still managed to fill out a roster card each week and battle for 51 minutes. They start fresh with a new season upon them and need the hockey Gods to give them a bounce or six. AE2S is my sleeper team. They are scary to play against and most around the league know what they can do when all are in the lineup. Jake ‘Lefty’ Young in net has been dominant. Their 1st year players have settled right in and keep the old guy (Tupa) on his toes, despite usually being 8 or 9 stride lengths behind. iSight has a prime tender as well but needs to find more offense than just M. Link going coast to coast. The Engineers have too much to handle. Round 1 goes to the sleeper.
BWW vs. Johnny’s
After leading the league in disappointment this year, BWW enters its 5th play-in playoff game in as many years. Going 1-3 in previous play-in contests, they’ll need to find an answer to their inconsistencies there and throughout this season. BWW will lean on their Hobey finalist in J. Breidenbach, thought to have peaked at the Squirt level, has instead put together a season worth telling the future generation mini B’s to come. Glory shining between the pipes for Johnny’s as the Cinderella story continues for A. Sauve. Coincidentally, an avid fan of the Cinderella movie, Sauve has led the coveted Forbey Baker race since day 1. Both teams play better than their record may show. The Cinderella story continues for another week.
Week 13 Picks
iSight vs. Golf Center
The final night of the regular season commences with a David vs. Goliath square off. The GC’s were slightly tested the first time around, in their defense, playing with half a squad, and most notably without Forbey finalists Gilbertson and R. Johnson. GC’s Leach excited to be back for the rematch this week after missing multiple weeks this season. Leach, who has been battling game and Golf Center employment schedules, is considered to be the top, golf tee sharpener specialist, in the Red River Valley, according to his Linkedin page. The GC’s will have the big guys in house and are expected to coast into the Bye week.
Red Pepper vs. Rumors
Pepper knocking off the #1 team last week but remaining in 2nd place in the standings, or as some would consider, the 1st losers. An instant classic the last time these teams met after ending in a shootout. The game ending on A. Simonson’s stick, scoring the game winner after tallying 5 points that night. Rumors have had a few shaky weeks, including squandering a 4 goal lead in the 3rd period with roughly 5 minutes remaining. Rumors is needing a win to retain the 3 seed but with a loss could drop to the 5 spot. A lot of skill on hand and should make for a gritty game heading into a week off to rest some bodies. The Peppers are red hot going into week 13.
Broods vs. Adams
Broods ready to rally up after a barn burner last week. Lead this season by the Ladouceur boys, no relation merely coincidence, and Gandolf, this team is poised to coast into rest and relaxation week in 1st place. The first time these teams met, J. Douce was able to rattle off 4 points adding to his league leading point totals, on pace for the top spot, also clinching a new regular season record at 35 points with 1 week to go, 3 pts ahead of A. Simonson. Going into this week, Adams will need to lean on Martinson, who had himself a week after scoring 4 goals with two of them being shorthanded. Broods will not lose two weeks in a row. But still could be close. But maybe not.
GR Day vs. Johnny’s
Johnny’s 2 weeks ago had a dismal 6-man squad. Rewind to last week and they were able to put together a full 53-man roster as they prepare to trim things down before the playoffs. Johnny’s Seng, unlikely to make the playoff squad, was frustrated to not have the chance to display his ‘sick skills’ after only crediting 3 shifts in the 51 minutes. Tough scene all together has they looked uncomfortable on the bench adding to the assumption there was no room in the locker room and the line for the shower must have went out into the hallway. Insult to injury as the Commish seen reffing, bombed a call in the 2nd period of their game in a drastic moment shift. Notably, the Commish is now on his 7th Walmart ‘burner phone’ of the season after attempts to hide his identity. GR losing a ‘big one’ last week. They’ll need to work as one to try and gain some momentum, although they are likely to stay among the middle in the standings.
AE2S vs. BWW
Although these two squads have been bottom dwellers most the season, they certainly don’t play as their records may show. BWW played tough while Butters in net was a mythical genius between the pipes. AE2S’s Young has been talked about in previous weeks before and has the ability to take his team on a playoff ride. Both teams will play next week but will be on opposite sides of the bracket. Could be a couple interesting weeks for these squads as they both have the opportunity to play upset makers. For now, a coinflip week. AE2S in a shootout.
AE2S 7-6 S/O
Week 12 Picks
BWW vs. GR-D
Forx Hockey making beer league history after a television debut. Despite MidcoSports, CBS, NBC, FOX, ABC, NickelodeonSports, TBS, HBO pay per view, Real Sports with Bryant Gumble, ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN3, and ESPN the Ocho, all declining to return any calls on any partnership ideas, the Commish will not go unanswered. BWW’s fate for week 14 is a familiar one as they will compete in another play-in playoff game in 2 weeks, likely to represent the 8 or 9 seed. GR-D also playing this week with the ability to move about the standings depending other matchups outcomes. GR-D needs the points to keep pace with the pack. The Boys in Black as always will put up a fight.
iSight vs. AE2S
Will lightning strike twice?? iSights lone victory this season came against the engineers. iSight has shown tiny glimpses of success at various times the past few weeks. They’ll need to keep things basic and rely on their primitive tools to outwit the nerdy engineers this week. This matchup could be a sneak peak to a play-in game with these two squads. AE2S follows this week up after their dominant win 7 days ago.
Adams vs. Johnny’s
The Adams team to play without D-man T. Litzinger this week after a malicious attack, seen here, (viewer discretion advised), on the Commish. The extended version, seen here, adds to the horrific scene as The C was pleading for the trainer from the bench for assistance. The Commish, seen post game in a walking boot, is expected to be back in action Wednesday. Team trainers reported the Commish was able to get back to doing beer league activities after they noticed him polish off a 30-rack over the weekend. Johnny’s is the last team to know where they sit in 2 weeks from now. Both teams are in similar spots needing to find a way to put a winning streak together to carry some momentum at the right time. Both these squads can score goals but many weeks they’ve played without full rosters. Adams has the pick based on attendance this week.
Golf Center vs. Rumors
3 vs 4 this week in a Game of the Week runner up. Both teams coming off tough losses. GC’s R. Johnson has lost big games like last week before and knows how to handle these situations. “He’s a special boy and knows how to play through adversity,” commented Johnson’s guidance counselor. A 4.0 student in the classroom and February’s Student of the Month, R. J. will be well rested for this weeks game after having to walk less to class after having a front row parking spot at Red River for his successes. “How do these guys never age?”, questioned Rumors Aikens on Johnson’s team. Rumors was able to knock off the GC’s the first time around. GC’s come back strong to even the season series.
Broods vs. Red Pepper
After clinching the 1 and 2 seed for the postseason, a Battle Royale commences as the leagues top 2 get a quick look at each other before a possible late, post season bout. Pepper will have their hands full this week with many Broods players playing some of their best games of the season as of late, including Broods, B. Johs. Johs, seen here, is playing his final days before joining his new team an hour south. A decorated Bismarck JV team member, Johs will be the first 33 year old to sweater up for the Force, after spending the first half of the season on their taxi squad. Pepper will be looking to even their series as they were beat by the Broods in their first contest. Broods have been on an incredible streak this season. Instant classic tonight.
Week 11 Picks
AE2S vs. Rumors
The Engineers struggled to find their offense last week as their opposition in GR-D was poised to flip their own losing script. AE2S will need J. Young in net to find his A-game as he will face off against his mentor on the other end of the ice. Coming off an incredible showing at a Friday noon skate, Young has been known to shut down the leagues best, seen here. Rumors is getting consistent scoring from Hegg and Knutson, adding The Peoples Goalie between the pipes, AE2S will have another weeks challenge at hand.
Broods vs. Golf Center
Game of the week on hand in this contest as these two face off in a rematch to week 2’s instant classic that saw the Broods score in the final minute to go ahead. Tons of offense to showcase as 2 of the top 10 in GR-B’s J. Laducer and GC’s R. Johnson will bout all night. Broods Wurden has been on fire as of late as well as GC’s Gilbertson continuing to tally week after week. This game will also feature top defensive pairings with Broods (uncle) C. Jacobi-R. Laducer and GC’s Aamott-Tannahill. **With no actual knowledge if those pairings are correct. Was hoping to sound educated** These 2 squads have battled out the last 2 seasons of championship games and are expected to both go deep into the playoffs. As of now, no one can find an answer for the GR-B’s…will be another close one.
GR-D vs. Adams
Adams likely to be suspended for this weeks game after some unsettling banter via email this week to the Forx Hockey Leagues front office regarding ‘Personal injuries’. The Commish unable to comment any further but felt the situation was ‘necessary’ as no one would notice Adams absence. GR-D adding to the absentee list on the blue line this week after a tickle fight went too far. These 2 squads are jockeying for position in the middle of the pack with a few weeks to go. GR-D snuck out a win in their first meeting but was against a Adams squad that was shorthanded. Coinflip this time around.
BWW vs. iSight
Both these teams showing signs of life a week ago. BWW put the slightly younger and definitely better looking GC’s to the test last week playing their first ‘play as a team’ game in nearly 4 years. Unfortunate news followed the game as BWW rumored to be finishing the year with only one Butters on the roster. Butters brother, Butters (the Original Butters?), has been toying with retirement midseason after losing the sense of ‘fun’ in the game. Although Butters was disappointed in brother Butters decision, Butters feels this will be a good time for ‘Butters to find the real Butters’. iSight hoping to feed off of their own short but sweet success as they were able to send the Peppers into some first intermission confusion… only later to not fulfill an upset, everyone in the league was hoping for. BWW, who didn’t even realize J. Breidenbach was even in the lineup this year, will be looking for J. B. to repeat on his Top Bro of the Week accolades for this matchup. Same story from iSight as fellow linemates looking for K. Altendorf to do the same who was unfortunately snubbed from the week 10 list after tallying 3 goals. This week is sponsored by, “I can’t believe its not butter”. The boys in black score early.
Red Pepper vs. Johnny’s
The Ringer is here(viewer discretion advised and closed captions need to be turned on)..... with injuries sustained last week to Pepper’s netminder, action was taken. Similar to the scene of Brett Favre landing in Minnesota 10 years ago to save a team, the Ringer was rumored to have been carted in from Fargo via teammate Tofte’s Toyota Prius as true royalty should be carted. A goaltenders duel expected as Johnny’s Sauve is looking to counter back. Johnny’s chances depend on limiting Peppers shot totals, which many teams this season have struggled to do.
Week 10 Picks
Johnnys vs. Broods
Details leaking out on Roinila’s future plans as he takes over March 24th at 10:01 PM. The 2021-22 league season expected to use blue youth pucks; any infractions towards the Johnny’s team by an opposing team will result in suspensions (current rule in place for Ground Round teams); and all 17 Red Pepper games will be scheduled in Langdon, ND @6:15pm. Broods only loss of the season came to this team week 1. Sauve is a magician most nights as many of the GR’s can attest as he seems to always find a way to stifle the opposition. Broods have had a fully loaded squad for a majority of the 2nd half of the season but the 6:15 tilt could hinder that. Broods evens the season series this time around.
AE2S vs. GR-D
The Commish celebrating a birthday this past weekend. While aging beautifully, The Commish was able to generate a new career high in shots a week ago, with 2 SOG. Thankfully Forx Stats do not discriminate against ‘weak dribblers’ on net. Not scoring a point since week 1, The Commish is looking to up his TOI from 37 to 43 minutes per game, to boost the probability of chance. The Engineers took it to the GR-D’s week 1 with a full roster on hand. That’s been a struggle the middle part of the season for the 2S’s but the last few weeks have shown the league how dominant they can be with bodies. GR-D gets some puck luck this week. Not The Commish though.
BWW vs. Golf Center
The boys in black get a 2nd try at the Golf squad after round 1 was a route. GC’s J. Gilbertson showing how being a multi-sport athlete can propel his game at the beer league level. Gilbertson, a former gymnast, alongside teammate M. Miller in that regard, credits his ‘stretchyness’ and ‘flippyness’ on the floor routine as a key attribute to his muscly legs in his ability to work around the goal crease. 2nd in points for the GC’s, they’ll need his experience around the springboards to launch their way into another push to go deep in the playoffs. BWW Butters is league favorite around the rink but it again will not be an easy draw.
iSight vs. Red Pepper
The Pepper roster rumored to have been ‘shutting things down’ at the El Roco this past weekend. Pepper is now required per Forx rules to quarantine for the next calendar 21 days. Their next 3 weeks of scheduled games have been simulated. 0-11 iSight, 0-10 Johnny’s, 0-15 Broods.
Rumors vs. Adams
Game of the week on hand against friendly foes. With recent local restrictions being lifted across the State. Forx Hockey League is happy to announce that fan attendance is now being lifted from 0, to max 3 fans per game. Sources stating tickets have already sold out. Adams A. Martinson has gobbled up all 3, one for his new Fiancé and one for his dog, purchasing the 3rd seat to socially distance the 2 apart. Both teams loaded with offense. Should be hard for these teams to disappoint the viewing spectators. Shootout 2.0.
Rumors 7-6 S/O
Week 9 Picks
Red Pepper vs. Adams
Entering the final week of the ‘1st half’ of the season, the Peppers face off riding a 5 game win streak against a fellow opponent with 2 straight wins of their own. The early frame has been troublesome for many rosters. The verdict still out on Peppers this week as Adams awaits roll call to see who the Peppers fill the sea of red with this week. For anyone looking to apply for a roster spot, a hockeydb account is required. This will be an intriguing matchup and statistically could go either way. Beating a deadhorse but this tilt is roster dependant. Pepper rolls by anticipation.
Red P’s 8-5
Johnny’s vs. Golf Center
As the 5 year Forx lease nears its end and the Commish readies for retirement, J. Roinila has been notably absent in recent weeks with assumptions hes been planning for next season. The Commish, who saw Roinila win last Novembers election as the next Commish-Elect, is realizing that very soon he will be ‘Just another Beer League Loser like the rest of these guys’ as his powers-at-hand will come to an end. “I wont miss the stress!!” commented the Commish, who was speaking on behalf of his hair-loss the league has caused, seen here. Meanwhile, the GC’s welcomed back M. Miller back to the lineup after missing the last 6 weeks serving his suspension for receiving a Minor after being caught with chewing tobacco at Red Rivers Sadie Hawkins dance. No educational or useful information was discussed for this matchup.
iSight vs. GR-D
Despite GR-D being manhandled by people we used to consider our friends, GR-D’s Theisen continues to flaunt his successes at body camp, seen here, rocking day 9. New snapshots came to light this week as before and after progress can be seen here. Congratulations to Theisen, as he was able to land a modeling career on the side, showing off his ‘Blue Steel’ pic which will be featured on next months issue of Paintballers Digest. A sport that was thought to have been extinct, yet, now discovering there seems to be many underground channels still flourishing. The iSights have had a rough month and a betting man would bank on the same fate to close out January. The GR-D’s looking to find an answer of their own this week as they are on an 0-2-2 skid in their last 4 games, which has seen them drop from 1st to 6th in the standings. GR-D buries the loose pucks.
BWW vs. Rumors
The Peoples Goalie registered a rare assist in last weeks matchup. That tally puts Decker in a dead heat against fellow…full time… defenseman D. Green for the race in not finishing last in team player points. Many Forx Fans rooting for Decker to add to his numbers this week except Green who declined to comment. The BWW’s continue to struggle and many would agree the record does not reflect the skill on the squad. Rumors score goals with contributions from all members. Verke and the fellas will have their hands full again this week.
GR-B vs. AE2S
GR-B took home, yet again, the dumb GR popcorn trophy. In dominant fashion, the GR-Bs never looked back after falling behind early 1-0. The tides turned once GR-Bs R. Laducer took an embellishment penalty after what looked as if he had stepped on a land mine and crumbling to the ice near the defensive blueline. He then came out of the penalty box and laser beamed 2 goals and followed that up with an assist and yadda yadda yadda they won handedly. Side note from Forx Hockey’s own Chad Flossmann, that embellishment penalty was assisted by GR-D, and are now 4 for 4 on ‘talking the refs into that one’ stat line. AE2S had themselves another barn burner. Showing they are a scary team when all members are present. They were my sleeper team a couple years ago and will likely be again this year as teams start to prep for a playoff push. This will be a fun one. 2 highly competitive teams that play fair and skate hard. GR-B will need to be careful and hope to post a win as they bid farewell to decorated goaltender Kross Braaten.
Week 8 Picks
iSight vs. Adams
The iSight boys are in a tailspin with no landing gear. Adams likely to pile on some points with big hitters B. Schumacher and A. Martinson, and big boned T. Geatz. iSight has had key players out and until the roster returns, will be clinging to life support until further notice.
AE2S vs. Golf Center
The Engineers turned some heads a week ago after squaring off in what might have been the game of the year this season. AE2S showing how scary they can be when fully rostered which was only the 2nd time this year. 2S’s Z. Roed adding to this weeks excitement as he is able to show Forx fans J. Miskaviges tattoo artistry with his new Sherwood tattoo on his lower back. The Golf guys when also fully rostered have a quality group. Both teams are yearly Lady Byng candidates with low penalty minutes and fair play. Commish expecting a hug or two from the 2 squads between whistles and will be onsite to snap a picture for next years Forx Hockey Calendar. Could be another beer league classic here.
GC’s 7-6 S/O
BWW vs. Red Pepper
GR-D’s goalie was injured a week ago in the Panzer skate forcing the decision to ban all players from playing next door. Red Pepper is now ineligible had has agreed to forfeit all prior wins and championships for the indirect goalie injury. An appeal expected. BWW’s Butters plays with an unusual tactic by forcing all of the blood to his face during play. He’s optimistic his red face will confuse the red jersey’ed peppers into not shooting at ‘one of their own’. Pepper continues their league dominance.
GR-D vs. GR-B
The annual Popcorn Trophy is on the line this week later than usual this season. Key folks out for the GR-D’s but no excuses being made by A. Theisen whos been putting in the extra work, seen here. Theisen, who missed a late, potential go ahead goal and most likely cost his team a run at a regular season championship, has impressed his teammates with his most recent dedication. In nearly 5 days of fitness, he has recorded nearly 8 ounces of weight loss. A before and after seen here. The GR-B’s are loaded with bros and many of them are scoring at will this season. GR-B gets going early.
Rumors vs. Johnny’s
Website troubles plagued the Commish for a mere 24 hours this week. An apology was sent out to the frequent, daily stat checkers. Rumors Kouba currently the only player in the league that has requested his season dues to be refunded for the inconvenience. The Commish has since changed his phone number. Johnny’s Aarvig, Aarvig and Olson, the Lawfirm Line, continue to fill the scoresheet with B. Halverson following things up with a career night. Rumors have plenty of firepower of their own which should make for an interesting matchup with the league’s top goalies on either side. Rumors expected to have the extra pep in their step.
Week 7 Picks
GR Broods vs. Rumors
Broods continue to shine, winning their last 5 in a row. Rumors as well back in the win column acquiring some much needed league points. Broods’s Wurden lighting the lamp a week ago tallying 7 points. Much more behind the scenes adding to those points, including backchecking, which is highly discouraged in the Forx Hockey League. Many teammates claiming Wurden took on the shape of a unicorn at one point… Wurden will also be celebrating his beards 4th birthday (seen here) this week as he faces off against his former team with many wondering why they even got rid of him in the first place???? Broods seem to be getting contributions for everyone… giving them the extra tilt this week.
Golf Center vs. GR Daydreams
The Commish looking for a quick and timely rebound in response to last weeks failed scheduling attack against rival Red Pepper. “Entertaining some new ideas… possibly a Sunday game at 08:00 a.m. when those boys are at Church”, said the Commish. The GC’s collected a W with many notable names missing last week. Spending last week on their annual ‘Guys Getaway Retreat’ in Montana, many of the GC’s use that time to express who they really are behind the scenes. “We’re more than just muscly arms, jeggings and various body sprays”, shouted GC’s Max Miller from a mountain top. Last years playoff meeting was the 2nd best beer league I have witnessed in almost 5 years of beer league beat writing. New faces and prolific names missing from this rematch. GR-D will need to keep pace and frustrate Sabol in net to have any chance. Coinflip.
GR-D 7-6 S/O
iSight vs. Johnny’s
The Matchup I love to hate…sponsored by Care Bears, this years contest featuring a Teddy Bear toss during the 1st intermission to spread the love. Johnny’s will need to right the ship after dealing with some roster adjustments. iSight struggling to generate offense with Cink and Frankenhoff absent from the lineup. Johnny’s C. Aarvig and Olson are playmaking machines. Johnny’s gets ahead early with Sauve going full wall-mode.
Red Pepper vs. AE2S
AE2S’s victory celebration to be short lived as they now face off against the leagues Division 1 retirement outreach team. In a detailed Red Pepper recap of last weeks game: they barely won. The engineers will need much more than protractors and compasses to outsmart their opposition.
BWW vs. Adams
BWW tapping the workforce temp agencies for available bodies to help fill a dismal attended roster. Required Qualifications: A Heartbeat. Adams will need to not overlook the BWW’s as they have a tendency to knock off top end teams. “They are a fast, young team,” commented Adams Litzinger, who babysat many of the BWW players years ago as a way to pay his way through Junior College. The BWW’s look to have another rough matchup on the schedule as this Adams squad can score. Another busy night for Team Butters.
Week 6 Picks
GR Day vs. Pepper
W6 gets underway with the Forx Hockey League Game of the Week brought to you by Juul Vaping as this weeks sponsor. Pepper’s Vigen on the game, “Had this one marked in my planner/diary since the last time we played them at 6:15…and the time before that at 6:15…”. The Commish was unavailable for comment when questioned via text about the scheduling, listed as ‘in a meeting’ for the last 72 hours. Pepper is loaded with talent. Snipers, playmakers and stingy defense. GR continues their grueling 4 week stretch of playing 4 of the top-5 teams. The rivalry continues here. Pepper if rostered.
iSight vs. Rumors
iSight struggled yet again with some notable names not in attendance. iSight will need the boys back or things will get ugly again in a hurry with a skilled Rumors team on the schedule. Rumors is due for a regulation win after a few frustrating weeks. Decker wants the shutout to leave no doubt.
Broods vs. BWW
Butters was busy last week in net for BWW and that comment will be an understatement after this weeks match. Broods Ladoucer is everywhere right now and has plenty of compliments on the ice around him. Mixed with BWW’s tendency to get into penalty trouble, they’ll need every bounce available to go their way. Broods bully their way for another 3 pts.
AE2S vs. Johnnys
AE2S is bleeding out. After knocking off top rival GR-DAY week 1, they have been littered with poor roster attendance and lack of timely scoring. 2S’s goaltender, Young, who has aspirations of one day being the next ‘The People’s Goalie’ has the chance to rob one against a Johnny’s team that cant overlook this matchup. A search and rescue team is now active as Johnny’s Iron Man and Commish’s Corner fan favorite, Roinila, has gone missing from the Johnny’s blue line. The Commish released a statement, “I miss our talks”. AE2S can sense the urgency but cant overcome Sauve on the other end.
Adams vs. GC
The GC’s are trying to avoid a dumpster fire. 2 guys on the bench last week against Pepper was painful to watch. These young guys are resilient. “Hoping getting back to a routine will get us going again”, said GC’s Jordy Aamott. Aamott of course referring to the routine of class, scheduled lunch breaks and recess, as school is back in session after a lengthy Christmas break. Adams is a sniper in the weeds team right now. Another squad loaded with some bros that can bury a few. A cointoss game that should see plenty of scoring. Adams finds a way.
Week 5 Picks
BWW vs. Johnny’s
Some on-ice Marlin fishing last week for Johnny’s R. Olson as he was the victim of several missed…yet opponent favorable, hooking calls. In a night that seemed as if the lights went out and the refs couldn’t see at the right times. BWW took advantage of a depleted AE2S roster. “It was tough to watch the melt down”, said the Commish reffing in a tightly knit, muscly armed, red holiday sweater. Johnny’s Sauve will be the difference in net as BWW’s Butters returns from a wien…groin injury.
Golf Center vs. Red Pepper
A classic yearly matchup that consists of a group of guys finding their first chest hair (and bragging about it on Snapchat) and another group finding gray hair in places inappropriate to discuss here. Should be a shoot out, back and forth contest for the 3 and 4 seeds. Early season game on the schedule with a hint of late season push for positioning. Another coinflip.
Adams vs. AE2S
This years Secret Santa award went out to C. Adams as the Commish was able to happily announce that Adams will be the Commish’s new hemp/marijuana dealer. At first, was expected to be a temporary assignment, but now could last as long as 3-5 years as the Commish waits for his previous supplier to return from pris….quarantine. “I also chose Adams for my services, had a 5-star review on Yelp”, added AE2S’s H. Warner. I think everyone in the league is hoping the engineers have a few more bodies on the bench this week. Last weeks return of T. Miskavage was an instant relief valve with 2 helpers in last weeks game. Adams has too many weapons. AE2S needs to avoid falling behind early on.
iSight vs. GR Broods
iSight has turned a few heads as they continue into their 3rd consecutive rebuilding season with J. Frankehoff leading the way. Juggling thru a roster of 20 peeps, they are starting to find the lineups that can put a few in the net. The Broods team is getting plenty of help from rookie sensation, J. Laducer. The roster also boasting the return of twin cousin, R. Ladoucer. Broods have the edge in this one as their Defensive Trifecta is back in place with Jacobi, Kuntz and Ladoucer on the blue line.
Rumors vs. GR Day
The nightcap game features a game of the week nominee as these two teams have had some great historical matchups. Rumors has a deceiving spot in the standings as they could easily have been on top after losing a couple shootouts. The GR team has seen the 2nd (Tony) of the 3 Haley bros reunite this season which has been a pleasantry in the locker room, despite the teams preference to add Marcus onto the roster card instead. Decker is a nuisance every week. If M. Lukkason can outpace Rumors Aikens, they just may have the advantage this go around.
Week 4 Picks
iSight vs. Golf Center
iSight wins!! But now unfortunately they play the GC’s. iSight also suffering another loss after one of their defensemen rifled an inadvertent clearing attempt into the Commish’s gut while the Commish was wearing stripes during this contest. As the player skated by he whispered, “Sorry ‘bout that ref….”…as if to ignore the royalty that was upon him. He was immediately removed from the league after the 3rd period. GC’s are dazed and confused after a couple losses. Rally hats will be apart of their wardrobe along with their skinny jeggings and muscly armed sweater vests. GC’s roll Christmas Eve Eve.
Broods vs. Adams
The ‘Perfect Night’ anticipated for Adams forward, Martinson, as he expects to see his lady friend in the 1st row for this matchup. Martinson, who plans on proposing during the 1st intermission, has been planning this for a “lifetime”, despite the fact hes only been dating his GF for 2 weeks. Broods Hovet on the planned event, “He’s a special boy…terrible idea though”. Both teams will be looking to follow up on convincing wins a week ago. Both teams feeding off 1st year recruits to get things done. Broods utilizing Laducer’s set ups and finishes while Adams, B. Schumacher has a howitzer of a shot. Broods has had the extra pep in their step this season knocking off two back to back rivals in Pepper and the GC’s.
AE2S vs. BWW
Goal of the year on display last week for the Engineers as Michael Solc toe dragged what looked like 8 different players on his way to a shorthanded goal. “I didn’t really care that we lost the game… personal performance is more important at this level”, said Solc. Jaroslav Solc on the post game comments, “I used to have a brother named Michael”. BWW suffered a big blow last week as they saw their starting (only) goaltender go down with a groin injury in a game where they just never ‘went away’ on the scoreboard. Forx Fans hoping for a quick recovery as the grueling stretch of 14 straight are upon us. AE2S lost an instant classic a week ago, playing a team they’ve had tight battles with before. BWW needs another week before they begin to click.
Red Pepper vs. Rumors
Rumors continues their pace of post season form into week 4. They were able to knock off the GC’s a week ago giving them back to back losses for their first time since being incepted. Some great statistical facts provided by the Commish and with the help of Forx Hockey’s top analyst, Chad Flossman. Pepper needs more than 8 guys to show up. Of course no one locally will answer that phone call to Don that sweater, they will need to start tapping the Fargo market or neighboring counties soon to get some bodies on the bench. This is a solid matchup going into the holiday… lots of scoring power on either end with two of arguably the best goalies. Coinflip game.
Rumors 7-6 S/0
GR Day vs. Johnny’s
Johnny’s didn’t look themselves a week ago. Flatfooted with Sauve keeping them in it early but playing an Adams squad that didn’t let off the gas. Repeating my message from a week before but the Loungers will need to lean on the Aarvig twins to get things going while Roinila plays tough on the back end. The GR’s had contribution from all 4 lines a week ago (3 empty netters) which was encouraging facing off against a pesky team. The nightcap to ride the sleigh into the holiday. The GR’s get the much needed first goal.
Week 3 Picks
BWW vs. GR-Day
As the calendar rolls closer to 2021, Forx Hockey League Health Officials are bracing for impact as Covid-20 is just around the corner. Details being figured out on how to administer the leagues first vaccine to its front line workers, the Goalies, in what is expected to be a Jello-shot consisting of Busch Light and Cherry-Bleach flavoring. This matchup seems to always consist of low scoring, blue collar, grind it out finishes. Despite last years mid game…event… more of the same is expected here. The GR’s test Butters early.
Broods vs. Red Pepper
These two teams have felt the roster squeeze during the brief two week start to the season due to the C-19. What typically have been instant classics between these squads may need to be on hold this week and hope for a rematch later in the season once the Pfizer Fixer has made its rounds. Pepper boasting their ranking in the standings going into the 4-week hiatus but will now be tested by a friendly foe. Broods riding the big wave after scoring a last minute goal before the Burgum buster. Unfortunately no fans for the games which would have a been a real boost for ticket sales for this one. Anticipating the Broods to have the extra guy or two on their bench to tilt the ice.
Golf Center vs. Rumors
The GC’s have lost 5 games since league acceptance. This Rumors squad has accounted for two of those losses. The GC’s have yet to lose back to back games but will most certainly need to keep pace as both teams bring speed to their games. Rumors is always pesky early season before they begin their late season meltdown. With most their players sporting lungs equivalent to purebred race horses, they will have the edge against the GC’s.
Adams vs. Johnny’s
Geatz expected to make his season debut for the Adams squad this week. Geatz, who has been battling excessive weight gain from this summers quarantine, has been cleared to play after a successful surgery to have his spleen removed to aide in his weight loss, by removing useless organs. Geatz on his status, “Gallbladder’s next on the list…”. Expecting a slow start in this one with the big guys to pick up the pace in the 2nd half in A. Martinson and R. Olson. Depending on attendance, Johnny’s may have the extra step need with the Aarvig twins and Roinila attack. Coin toss matchup.
Johnny’s 4-3 S/0
iSight vs. AE2S
The iSight fellas hoping the monkey is off their back after registering their first league point of the season. After some light research, it was their first tally since 1/16/19, nearly 699 days ago. Identities still being defined for both squads as they each have many new faces on their lineups. AE2S brings a little more beer league experience to the table in this contest. The Engineers calculate their way through.
Week 2 Picks
AE2S vs. Rumors
AE2S spokesman, J. Solc, requesting Forx Hockey Health Officials to check into whether the loss of sight is a known symptom of C-19, as his linemates pass buttons were broken a week ago. 2S’s Mauch, “Ohhh..were you open?”. Rumors looking to rebound this week after a shoot out loss. The shoot out ended on what looked to be a shot that had to have pierced through a chunk of C. Decker’s abdomen. It’s the only feasible scenario as hes never been scored on from that area. The Engineers will be a tough team moving forward but the lungs for Rumors have the early season edge. Rumors rolls on.
Broods vs. Golf Center
An early season rematch to last years championship bout. Broods looked off a week ago and will have another rough test as they play a bunch of Juniors in high school. Showers not a problem for the GC’s last week as the rink staff commented on their use of pumpkin spice cologne that filled the air. Broods will be tough defensively but there will be too many muscly armed GC’s to cover on this week.
GR-D vs. Adams
GR-D’s roster woes continue and now desperately depending more on their 4th liners more than ever. GR-D’s Dennison, nicknamed the ‘Wolf of Wal-nut Street’, spent extra time in the Icon shooting room this week after registering 0% on 11 shots in shooting accuracy in Week 1. A rematch to last year quarterfinal that saw the Commish go down in a blaze of glory after suffering a debilitating season ending rib injury. The Commish is expected to drop the mits and fight everyone almost immediately in this contest. Adams could be making waves this season with some offseason plays and with GR trying to find their new identity during their “who’s out this week” game. Adams may get this game but these two squads will see each other again.
BWW vs. iSight
1 goal scored between these two teams last week……… was a rough summer of lounging in basements for most of us, hoping that was the case here.
BWW 1-0 S/0
Red Pepper vs. Johnny’s
Pepper lit the lamp Week 1 after scoring two touchdowns and both extra points. An interesting stat line for sure as they only rostered 7 in the bout. Johnny’s also savoring their 2nd season opener win in as many years. C. Halverson, the more athletic one of the Halverson blood line, rattled off a solid night with 3 goals, after contributing little to nothing a season ago (1G,1A). Pepper also living a week to week roster and the outcome could be dependent on that. Both tenders will be stingy. Pepper gets the bounces.
Week 1 Picks
Johnny’s vs. GR Broods
The season begins here. Johnny’s draws the short straw against arguably a top 3 contender this season in the Broods squad. The Aarvig twins, born two years apart, will be looked at to produce early and often. 2nd year player R. Olson, who plays every play until he hears the 4th whistle, also being called upon to contribute in more ways this season. Broods minus a couple key players but backfilled the losses with some notable talent. Week 1 will be ugly for many teams as the annual rust is rubbed off the blades. The Broods expected to pick up where they left off last season.
AE2S vs. GR-D
AE2S displaying their version of TLC’s home makeover after cleaning house and bringing new blood. AE2S’s Tupa, now the oldest team member will need to show he can last with the team. The challenge for Tupa is the no Fans in the Stands policy, as Tupa was notorious for only skating hard when the younger guys had their girlfriends in the bleachers. GR-D a benefactor in the AE2S fire sale as the 2S’s traded Swiers for some warmup pucks after a contract dispute involving money left AE2S no choice. Although Swiers will likely only be allotted 2-3 shifts per game, he proud to call GR-D home. Both teams made runs to the Semi’s last year as AE2S’s Cinderella story made more headlines. AE2S will be a team to watch this year. Key bodies out tonight for both sides… AE2S has the depth this contest. Another 1 goal game between these two.
Rumors vs. Adams
A great rivalry to kick things off. Although no one will be able to watch, we can all assume really cool things will take place. Both teams fairly quiet this offseason. Rumors key addition was wily old veteran T. Effhauser, who hopes to teach old dogs new tricks this season. In his transfer from the Dark Side, he’ll have to adjust to the speed this league takes on, challenging of course as hes getting old and fat like the rest of us. Adams bringing a familiar face back between the pipes in Soderberg who was once considered a goalie of the year candidate. No one ever wants to be the team to start the season against a Rumors team that traditionally skates at a midseason form week 1. Adding Decker in net should be a lock.
iSight vs. Red Pepper
iSight looking to log their 1st win since late in the 18-19 season and hoping to do so by signing Jake “ED” McMahon to their lineup. McMahon brought to the team as an instant 30 goal scorer, despite the fact he just bought his first pair of skates on Monday. McMahon followed up with, “Also not sure if I shoot left or right handed, hoping to make a decision by the 3rd period.” Pepper loading up a ‘never know who might show up this week’ roster for the 2020 campaign. Ranked 10th in the preseason poll, Pepper will be in the mix all season long as they secured the Regular season championship on the final week a year ago. Pepper gets going early.
iSight Key Returners: M. Link, C. Cink, K. Kyle Pepper Key Returners: None
BWW vs. GolfCenter
With the cancellation of the Parade of Athletes and Raising of the Banner, the artists formerly known as Spicy Pies’, will lean on only memories of their distant championship. Suffering some heavy losses in the scoring department in Montgomery and Bye, guys like M. Miller will need to find new setup men. “Right now, no one on this team fits that description”, stated Miller. BWW’s roster hasn’t changed in 5 years, other than everyone getting 5 years uglier, they will boast a 20-man gun show as they lead the league in roster spots filled. Also, a 5 year record. BWW will need to use their depth to hang with the youthful Golfs’. Spicy Pie was 0-2 in week 1 contests, the GC’s look to rewrite the Forx history blogs.