Commish's Corner© is a highly detailed and in-depth make believe look into Forx Hockey Leagues weekly matchups and other current events. Some of the names and locations may have been changed for no reason in particular...
Week 5 Picks
BWW vs. Johnny’s
Johnny’s is 5-0 in the regular season in their last 5 meetings vs the boys in black, 2 of which ended in a 1 goal difference. Johnny’s record does not reflect the team on hand, losing to GR-D and Adams which could have gone either way. BWW needs to find some offense as an unlikely hero leads the way in their clubhouse with veteran B. Hutton, tallying 4 points thus far. It’s early, but the losses of Co. Aarvig, Breidenbach and Verke thus far on the Blueline have created some growing pains with new recruits yet to contribute. Johnny’s get their 1st win.
Bonzers vs. Ground Round/Broods
Broods were challenged last week but again showed defensively they can shut down as great of a team as GR-D can be…and is. Bonzers turned heads with new jers….outfits in their Pre-Thanksgiving kickoff. Breathtaking is the best way to describe those beer league beauties. Unfortunately, incredible taste in color schemes and fashion don’t win you games, and 3 of their next 4 weeks are against top-4 powerhouse squads. Beast beats beauty. GR-B rolls on.
Ground Round 11-1
Adams vs. AE2S
Two, 2 and 2 teams, 22 goals-for for AE2S and a 22% average body fat percentage for an Adams squad face off in week 5. Its not the size of your gut that matters, it’s the size of the jersey. Despite being fat and slow, Adams has put together a 2-game win streak but matchup against a youthful bunch of guys good at math and protractor angles. Brains this week beat the broad side of the barn.
Golf Center vs. Red Pepper
Game of the week… perhaps the game of the season thus far?? Another edition of muscly armed, good-looking guys squaring off against loose skinned pepper men. The GC’s on a 3-game win streak after coasting through a week 1 loss. The RP’s have shown why they are 4-0… or at least one guy on RP has shown everyone why… G. Johnson continues to put up silly numbers with Uglem at his side adding contribution. With that being said… the RP’s cant be stopped with that tandem.
GR-D vs. Rumors
There’s nothing worse than someone bragging or boasting about themselves and then utilizing a platform that they only have access to, to do so. But the Commish is coming off a week that many were talking about at the Turkey Day dinner table and later into the weekend. The Commish scored an incredible backhanded, deflection goal late in the GR rival contest against none other than the Peoples Goalie in net. Folks around the league could not stop talking about how open he became and how natural his limp-wristed play was executed. **NOTE: The goal would have been the game winning goal if the Broods hadn’t scored 4 previous goals.** Then to top it off, in an OT type atmosphere at a Friday holiday hangover noon skate, he deflected another shot to end that friendly contest. The only thing missing from the week’s résumé was saving a puppy from a burning building. Hard to follow up on Rumors after that, so I’m sure they played someone and things happened… The GR’s will face off against the People’s G for what feels like the 5th time already this season with a Rumor’s squad that has some guys that can bury the puck. GR-D needs their goaltender to stand on his head again this week. Rumors has the extra firepower this time out.
Week 4 Picks
AE2S vs. Golf Center
Golf Center picked up their 1st win since the 2019-20 campaign against a top-4 opponent (GR-B, Pep, Rumors). After going 0-3-2 in ’20 and 0-4-1 in ’21 in the regular season, they were able to lean on B. Montgomery’s 2nd GWG in as many weeks and Schaefers 2 goal night. AE2S toy’ed around for the 1st period but then generated a 5 goal 2nd period to breeze past the Bonzer folks. Warner and Kjenstad appear to be clicking under first year operator, Wuitschick, after previous team manager J. Solc nearly sent the team to the dumpster. A lot of youth on either bench. The GC’s are a little deeper based off Forx Analytics. Coinflip.
Ground Round vs. Ground Round
Great news from the GR’s, the Commish’s status moved from doubtful to probable after suffering an inadvertent puck to the ‘nuts’ in last weeks game. After immediately administering an EPI Pen for the pain, C. Wood, a firefighter with general medical knowledge advised the Commish of incorrect and wrongful use. Meanwhile, A. Theisen making headlines again after another unfortunate injury that will leave him as a game time decision, after a failed but penalty drawn, sidestep move. A picture of the injury was documented, and with viewer discretion advised, teammates still deciphering what part of the body this actually is, seen here. Ground Round is off to a solid start and are looking to keep rolling. Also, Ground Round is off to a solid start and look to keep rolling. GR will be looking for a quick start and fast pace and will need to limit GR’s chances. GR a favorite here. Sticks in the middle.
Ground Round 8-5
BWW vs. Red Pepper
Peppers G. Johnson showing significant signs of ‘slowing’ down on the ice. Fellow teammates taking notice of his lack of effort after only registering 5 points in week 3. “Careers over”, stated blueliner, Cieklinski. Logging 0 minutes this season thus far in defensive zone, Johnson will look to get back on track after his season low effort. BWW’s goaltender, Andrew Butters gave his thoughts on the Johnson drama, “Yeah, I’m out this week”. Pepper takes an unbeaten record into the holiday.
Bonzers vs. Adams
A lengthy and at times emotional interview took place over the weekend with Bonzers top forward, Johnny Ryan, after returning back into league action last week. Ryan, who centers the ‘Party Line’, described the heart and soul behind the Bonzer squad that has seen multiple sponsor changes and jersey swaps that no one knows who the hell they are one year to the next but still… continue to play the game they love. Ryan is hoping to share a winning experience with his children one day despite the fact his team has yet to register a win since before they were born, ages 3 and 5. Adams got lucky and won with Sauve’s rare showing. An interesting matchup here against a quirky roster the Adams team may or may not have. Adams pulls it off if they have the numbers.
Rumors vs. Johnny’s
It seems I pump Sauve’s jets week in and week out and last week was more of the same, yet unfortunately, a rare off-night squandered the evening. Sauve at times became the other teams (Adams) best player after assisting on two of Adams goals with untimely, turnover passes. Sauve has gotten a look at every team in the league already after just 3 weeks into the season with all of his spot-starts due to goalie absences. He’ll stare 190 feet to the other end of the ice at his opponent, The People’s Goalie, as Decker will tend for Rumors who has done the same legwork this season as well. Rumors has the extra couple weapons.
Week 3 Picks
Broods vs. Pepper
The Wednesday Matinee features a rematch of the 2021-22 Championship. Tickets to the game have a face value of $199 for Red Pepper fans and will be seated in the Rydell and will then rely on various crowd noises to determine whats happening next door… all Broods fans tickets are free and available to choose any seat in the Judd. The matchup is loaded with point getters. In his 3rd campaign, J. LaDouceur is averaging 3 points per game, 2 points from 100 in his career. In 33 games to date, he has already reached the top 5 among the All-time leader race. Meanwhile, G. Johnson for the RP’s is averaging 3.25 PPG and scoring goals at a 2 to 1 ratio. Cracking the top 25 in just his 2nd year. Goalies beware. Pepper rolled last week as they had no blueliners to stop them. Lazur, Kuntz, R-Duece and P-PL, the Four Horsemen, are the difference.
Golf Center vs. Rumors
Rounding out last years top 4 features what should be the fastest game of the year. Rumors skated in a game last week and based on what I witnessed, looked as if there was 5 forwards on the ice for both teams the entire game. There had to have been 100 total shots taken between the two teams (Pepper). The GC’s controlled most their game in time of possession but found themselves down early in the 1st period to a never-say-die Bonzers squad. B. Montgomery making headlines 2 weeks in a row after a 4 goal, 1 helper night. The 4 goals consisted of 1 PPG, 1 SHG and 1 GWG. Was one penalty away from completing the first ever, ‘Top 5 Bros’ cycle. In irrelevant news, Sam Bye expected to be a game-time decision on what team he’ll skate for. Rumors has a tiny bit more firepower.
Adams vs. Johnny’s
Adams sporting or at least doctoring a roster form of 18 able bodied skaters but have disappointingly begun the season with 9 and 7 players the first couple weeks. Combat that with a few injuries, weight gain, and gray hair growing in weird places; needless to say, it’s been a tough start. They’ll battle against Sauve between the pipes who played out of his brains last week which surprises noone. Johnny’s also has added some linemates that can feed Olson on their top dawg line. As a bonus, Johnny’s even had a Mutscher score a goal last week, which is typically followed up with the question, was it the one with or without glasses? Without… Johnny’s has the right pieces to set Adams in an 0-3 rut unless their compadres clock-in for a few shifts. Coinflip.
BWW vs. GR-D
BWW had a full complement of players on their bench. They still have some work to do as the new recruits will be heavily leaned on with the absences of Lothspeich, Verke and the departure of Breidenbach who left for greener pastures. GR-D squeaked out a W with another heroic moment for long time co-captain, A. Theisen. During a power play situation, he used his face as a method of declining a zone clearing attempt by a Johnny’s player. The morning after, Seen here. Using Charmin 2-ply toilet paper to realign his jaw, it was a simple miracle in its own right there was enough toilet paper left in the house after a nights worth of Ground Round Pretzel Rods and cheese at 11:30PM earlier that evening. A guy who puts that salt’n’pepper-speckled caterpillar above his lip in jeopardy like that is worthy of a Forx Hockey League salute any Wednesday of the year in my book. No further comments…
Bonzers vs. AE2S
A potential goaltender dance off here. 2S’s Wuitschick is making a name for himself with big, timely saves in clutch moments and Bresina makes about 50 backdoor saves a night and possibly gets overlooked based off the B’s team record. Theres a couple bros coming to life on the Bonzers team… but might not be enough in the short run. The 2S’s have some sneaky speed with some tall forwards that make it a nightmare when the backcheck with their pesky reach. AE2S applies the pressure.
Week 2 Picks
Bonzers vs. Golf Center
With rosters being submitted and new players being uploaded, the names to faces game begins as the Commish discovers the next generation of beer league bros. A pleasant surprise from the GC camp as addition B. Montgomery joins the squad, following the footsteps of his brother Logan. Like his brother and fellow siblings, B. Montgomery lacking a hockey background, comes from a family of decorated gymnasts. It was just a short 4 years ago when Logan introduced his memoir: Pummeled by the Pommel Horse. A wizard on the floor exercise routine, B. M. is expected to release his own work later this season: Bend It Like Brock, which features an in depth look at flexibility. …Bonzers new name, same result. With a full effort and late game push fell a goal short in the opener. Bonzers will have their hands full this week in a tilted affair.
Red Pepper vs. Rumors
The RP’s followed up their banner hanging opener with a dominant win displaying 3 top 5 bros of the week. Most noticeable of the 3 was E. Tofte who once was the award winner of the ‘Mr. Irrelevant”. Which takes into account a players skill and IQ and compares that to their lack of points in the league. Potting 5 points last week and the eventual game winner, this game will likely prove the science that lightning does not strike twice for Tofte. Rumors may have been caught off guard by last weeks opponent but had the lungs to outlast an instant classic league opener. No surprises here for either team. Likely a speed first, ask who just dusted by you later… game. Plenty of goals on the board here.
AE2S vs. BWW
The Engineers turned heads last week. They looked fast and have some guys that can bury it with open looks. BWW forgot we started last week as 7 players opened their group chat in time to get the memo. The 2S’s have a habit of playing up or down to their opponents level. Based off week 1, the Engineers need to find the same level of intensity to get their first win. BWW needs bodies, or they’ll be chasing all night long.
GR-D vs. Johnny’s
Johnny’s has a massive family connection. The Mutscher brothers incepted the team and with that have rostered a set of Clauson’s, the Aarvig twins, the Roinila’s, the Halverson’s, and possibly the Garritson bros??, and now the Thingvold’s continue the really weird tradition. I’ll assume all the pairings are brothers and if not… it’s a hell of a coincidence. The GR-D’s had a strong representation snapping a pesky losing streak against Adams. R. Huttunen led the way with a rare GR-D top 5 bro appearance. They’ll need it again to get the edge early on former Forbey winner,(Rico) Sauve, between the pipes for Johnny’s.
GR-B vs. Adams
Things become increasingly more difficult for the Adams squad as they get their 2nd dose of free popcorn from a Ground Round team that looks poised for another deep run into the post season. Adams returns many of their roster regulars who can score and Pochatek looks like a freight train once he gets a step ahead. It’s a tough draw for week 2.
Welcome back…. Some of you were missed. Year 7 commences. The picks are in.
Week 1 Picks
AE2S vs. Rumors
The offseason roster moves across the league are always fun to track during the summer, whether its hearing the chatter at the softball diamond, or at robotics club for the AE2S dorks. Both teams will introduce fresh faces week 1. AE2S’s most notable changes come in the form of a managerial move as J. Solc will hand the duties over to J. Wuitschick, meanwhile the Commish will be firing his Czech Republic language translator and hiring in a German translator. Rumors begin the season without playmaker S. Bye and M. Nevala, but replace in the form of R. Bekkedahl and R. Edevold. Rumors picks up right where they left off… speed kills.
Broods vs. Golf Center
Rinse and repeat for the Broods squad. No fancy acquisitions, no position changes, no number swaps, and no more losing to the bad guys. Finishing with a near perfect season, the Broods will again feed off a pesky D-core and power forwards up front to pick up where they left off. Arguably the game of the week here as the GC’s rounded out the top 4 in the league and will again rely on their teenage youth. Broods 3rd period antics make the difference.
GR-D vs. Adams
The GR-D’s season a year ago was one to forget. The Commish had high hopes but learned turning 40, means you begin to suck at recreational sports more than ever… the GR-D’s need the days of old to spark any glory. They’ll lean on the current All-Time league leader in points, M. Lukkason, to miraculously get in shape earlier in the season, after waiting until week 11 of last season to show signs of life. Adams will add some youth to their lineup this season, and return a new member to the AARP membership with T. Litzinger completing another hockey waiver. Adams swept the GR-D’s a year ago. GR-D will need a week or two to get the mechanics back.
Red Pepper vs. Johnny’s
Johnny’s roster is still coming together after a monster rebuild last season. Bottom line is they need support for Olson up front. Olson was the only member of the squad to post double digit point totals. Pepper members still relishing a championship season a year ago but coming to grips with rising player fees entering this season. Disappointing sales were the downfall leading into this season as they sold halloween costumes as a fund raiser activity (seen here). There were 0 costumes sold. Pepper continues to be loaded up.
Johnny’s Key Returners: R. Olson, T. Mutscher, A. Sauve Pepper Key Returners: None
BWW vs. Bonzers
BWW is another squad that needs to find some puck bury’ers. Ca. Aarvig was the only player to reach double digits in points with his twin brother, Cody, chasing the family expectation. It was a surprise for the entire Aarvig family as up until this past year, Cody had been the spectacle of the twins. The artists formerly known as the iSights look to board the plane with no parachutes under a new alias… goaltending has been their base the past few seasons, not allowing 30+ shots a period will be step one into getting the new Bonzer regime a little momentum out of the gates. BWW is known for low scoring affairs. They net enough week 1.