Commish's Corner© is a highly detailed and in-depth make believe look into Forx Hockey Leagues weekly matchups and other current events. Some of the names and locations may have been changed for no reason in particular...
Week 5 Picks
BWW vs. Johnny’s
The leadup to the Thanksgiving holiday last week ended in some wacky ways…and possibly controversial? Johnny’s was able to pull off a late, game tying goal and eventually end the contest in a shootout. Video review efforts are underway as an apparent Rumors goal was possibly scored just prior to the game tying play? League officials are asking for fans or any of the general public to come forward with any information regarding the incident. All phone calls to Johnny’s players for personal statements have gone straight to voicemail. Johnny’s is 7-0 in their last 7 meetings and looks like the odds are against the BWW’s as they still look for consistency in the offensive zone.
Bonzers vs. NDAD/Broods
Bonzers was unable to pull off the long-awaited W in the standings after jumping out to a 3-0 lead last week. Unfortunately, any hopes and dreams of piggy backing off of last week’s tight game will likely be squashed minutes into this contest. Broods dominated who what was thought to be their friends, last week against the Mattress Fac, will blow by again this week. Running time will begin immediately here.
Adams vs. AE2S
AE2S turned heads with a dominant performance. Likely going to more than my usual ‘sleeper team’ playoff time as they have put together a few good weeks and the new nerds on the roster are looking sharp. Adams limped to a tie against Bonzers to fend off the historic moment. AE2S has been known to play to their opponent’s level… not sure what level Adams is on right now but in years past they can be the team to beat.
Golf Center vs. Red Pepper
Golf Center was outsmarted last week against the Engineers. Playing with a short bench last week, they’ll need to get Lamoine and Aamott back in the lineup to add to their edge. Missing key players, along with early retired M. Stjern who is the team’s full time puck polisher, they have been arguably the most unpredicatable team to start off this season. Peppers G. Johnson likely to sit out this contest in an effort to “Let someone else play” after logging 49 of 51 minutes last game in a 12-point night.
Mattress Factory vs. Rumors
After an afternoon of scouring submitted waivers, the Commish was able officially determine that his declining team is currently the oldest team in the league at 35.33 years of age. Broods checking in at 2nd; 34.69. Opposing teams were becoming increasingly suspicious why each week every member of the Mattress Factory roster was listed as ‘Questionable’ in the media guide. As the Mattress Makers continue to live one game at a time, Rumors has no interest in listening to another recap of last week so lets just move on. These two squads split their season series a year ago. The verdict is out on whether Kouba will be on the ice tomorrow after lingering uncomfortably around the building the first 3 weeks of the season reminiscing the glory days; then playing last week and popping off for 7 points for a 3rd bro of the week appearance. Likely another close affair.
Week 4 Picks
AE2S vs. Golf Center
Thanksgiving is always a special time of year where families come together around the dinner table and reconnect. Perfect opportunities for guys like J. Solc to attempt to convince his immediate family that his beer league career is blossoming at age 39. When the reality is he aging faster than the league average. Golf Center looks to pile on another lopsided week after a convincing win against Rumors with Johnson and Holien off to fast starts. These two franchises know each other well with some friendly rivalries to boot, which have made for some fast, competitive games. Historically, GC has always found that extra 3rd period goal to secure the win.
Mattress Factory vs. NDAD
The artists formerly known as the GR twins now representing the league under new alias’s reunite in the Turkey Day Extravaganza. All eyes on the Commish this week as he’s been fighting a head cold before the holidays. Pregame meal prep has been set with a bologna sandwich to build a light base in the stomach and substituting mayonnaise for Vicks VapoRub to help keep the airways clear by game time. Matt Fac considered a favorite to win if J Douce, R. Douce, Lazur, R. Kuntz, D. Kuntz, Wurden, Johs, Jacobi, J Lamoureux, Benke, Bancroft and D. Hovet are all out for tonights game. Fingers crossed.
BWW vs. Red Pepper
After being shut out last week, BWW’s Palmiscno requested an archive check to their last time that had happened. Likely, to his disappointment, this was the 4th time in league history BWW went scoreless with the last time coming in a playoff game in the 2021-22 campaign. Also disappointing is Red P handed them their first ever league shut out years before that. Red Peppers roster has only gotten deeper in that time with the odds against BWW for a possible back-to-back occurrence. Peppers G. Johnson looking to answer back after his worst career night last week with a measly 2 goals. Unfortunately, those two goals would be enough to put him 2nd in points on the BWW’s top 5 list.
Bonzers vs. Adams
Adams is on life support. Since the league was incepted, this is the first time Adams has started a season 0-3. Based on goal differential they find themselves in the 10-spot coming in to week 4. Bonzers players comfortably sitting back sipping on an Old Milwaukee with the ‘we know how ya feel’ mentality after reading that last blurp. Two cellar dweller teams as it stands today but might be the most entertaining game of the night.
Rumors vs. Johnny’s
Rumors suffering back to back losses after playing 2 week’s worth of the Big 4. Hope your sitting down for this one… Forx Hockey’s Fun Fact of the Week—Rumors has never lost to Johnny’s. I encourage all 6 of you readers at home to do their own research on if theres any other scenarios such as this. But for now, that’s an impressive feat. 12-0 all-time. Johnny’s is rebuilt this time around. They have guys that can match speed and bury it. Rumors needs a few more of the fellas other than just Edevold to contribute. Maybe THIS is the most entertaining game of the night?
Week 3 Picks
Broods vs. Pepper
The Wednesday Matinee features a rematch to last years championship, and the championship before that and the championship before that…and possibly this year’s championship…? In what many may say was the best game in the history of the league last March, this week’s contest will reunite many of the familiar faces from both sides. Two of the league’s top scorers, J Douce and G. Johnson are averaging 3 and 4 points per night, respectively. The Broods J. Lamoureux and Bancroft signings look like they will pay off in the long run. Meanwhile the verdict is still out on if the young gun frat members in Youngren, Bullinger, Yaeger, and Moser can lead Pepper back on to the Championship party list. With temperatures to be near 56 degrees on November 15th at game time, players likely to be wearing shorts and T-shirts for the game. Broods take round 1.
Golf Center vs. Rumors
Rounding out “The Big 4”, GC vs. Rumors. Plenty of speed and two teams that like to pass the puck. Rumors strength of schedule favors them thus far playing two highly competitive teams to start the season. GC, despite scoring two touchdowns (missing an extra point) last week, needs to prepare themselves for the other end of the spectrum as they teeter totter yet again. These two squads split their season series a year ago which led to the eventual rock, paper, scissor playoff tie break. More of the same here.
Adams vs. Johnny’s
Adams and their roster dilemmas again on hand to start the 23-24 campaign. Combat that with a few retirements, weight gain, and the continued growth of gray hair in weird places; the struggle is real. They will take that positivity against a Johnny’s team that looks revitalized to start this season possibly bringing back some of the parity the league needed. Sauve played like a beer league God last week which of course had to come against a 10-man Matt Fac team who peppered him with shots all night. According to Forx Hockey’s Next-Gen stats, Sauve made 206 saves on the night. Adam’s went 2 for 2 a year ago against Johnny’s. Despite Adams needing this game to avoid an 0-3 start, Johnny’s might have the extra firepower this time around.
BWW vs. Matt Fac
Maybe not labeled the game of the week but this matchup has typically generated some close affairs. After a September transaction was completed, MF’s C. Waind will faceoff against his former squad likely wrapped in head-to-toe bubble wrap…for precaution. Many Forx fans anticipating the return of former BWW goalie A. Butters back to the ice but this time as a position player… to this point Butters has not yet played due to the fact of an equipment issue, allegedly lacking a $20 pair of mitts to participate. A GoFundMe has been created.
Bonzers vs. AE2S
AE2S’s victory last week was fed off the heroics and toughness shown by long-time veteran J. Solc. After taking an inadvertent puck to the jugular mid-shift and combining that with fatness and age, the vodka in his veins helped secure the win. Bonzers still trying to find their identity yet again this season as they have yet to turn the corner with their new recruits who look like padded up linebackers out there. The 2S’s expected to pounce early.
Week 2 Picks
Bonzers vs. Golf Center
Bonzers lost week one, but, won the spirit award. The team was able to generate enough buzz in their Facebook fan page to celebrate their loss in front of packed house of nearly 30 college folks. Firefighters were on scene at the Judd for a reported gas leak but was later determined it was a combination of marijuana and Axe Body spray in the air. The GC’s now play the other end of the spectrum this week and look to reset against a Bonzers squad featuring their own set of young gun rookies.
Red Pepper vs. Rumors
Rumors had no new faces on display during the Season 8 Ice Extravaganza and looked like a well-oiled machine. Their speed created time and space against the Engineers… Red Pepper members are busy this week compiling data and entertaining various options for a tiered league payment to ‘encourage’ preferred game time slots. The plan is being worked on and expected to be presented at the next Forx Hockey board meeting, where it will be instantly rejected.
AE2S vs. BWW
The Engineers look to have a promising lineup card this season. After goaltender J. Wuitschick was promoted to team manager due to the team unanimously ousting former manager, J. Solc, the squad has rebuilt and looks to be a strong contender to finish in 7th place this season…. BWW slide into week 2 as they heavily continue recruiting attempts despite little activity via LinkedIn and MySpace.
Matt Fac vs. Johnny’s
The Mattress makers jumped out to an early lead and didn’t look back after feeding off 3 goals and 2 helpers from C. Jennewein catapulting his sophomore season off on the right skate. Johnny’s drew the Pepper card week 1 so its hard to accurately diagnose what their outlook might be. Traditionally very close games between these two squads.
NDAD/SG vs. Adams
It’s always nice to get that first week behind you and get a chance to reflect upon how bad things just might be for your squad. The Adams team is working on their new identity after long time members: Litzinger, Pochatek, Geatz, and Martinson extinguished themselves from the active roster. I was able to speak bluntly there knowing I have a 9+ week buffer before our squads will meet again. No issues on the Broods home front as their offseason recruiting has now pushed Pierre Paul Lamoureux to the 2nd best Lamoureux in the league.
Welcome back…. Some of you… Year 8 commences. The picks are in.
Week 1 Picks
AE2S vs. Rumors
As the rosters trickle in, I enjoy hearing where players were recruited from during the offseason. Some join teams after a summer of softball, others perhaps from the Pickleball courts, where AE2S utilizes the untapped local science fairs to fill out their lineup card. Rumors roster updates have yet to be submitted but the team is known to skate 363 days of the year and has had plenty of time to ‘tryout’ many different folks throughout the summer. Rumors has the week 1 edge as they’ll likely have the lungs all 3 periods.
Broods vs. Golf Center
Golf Centers offseason was boring. After officially locking in L. Lamoine and likely reducing star forward M. Stjern to 28 seconds of playing time per game, they will enter week 1 with their core group. Meanwhile, Broods add a 2nd Lamoureux to the roster with expectation to have the Lamoureux sisters signed to the roster by Christmas to form Forx Hockey Leagues first family quartet. Broods uncharacteristically enters the season with a 13-man roster?? After last year’s championship victory in what many would say was the best Forx game thus far, Broods are primed for another run to the top.
Mattress Factory vs. Adams
This is a perfect matchup for two teams getting older and fatter. A few new names to the Adams roster with a couple partial retirement letters being sent in after years of threats of doing so from T. Litzinger and M. Sage. Matt Fac stole a player from BWW in C. Waind with the agreement he will go back there ‘if things don’t work out’, his addition coming after long time original Matt Fac member K. Cooksey to also slightly retire. Its worth noting, Cooksey will go down as registering 64 games played and logging 0 goals to his career. Impressive.
Matt Fac 5-4
Red Pepper vs. Johnny’s
Key players returning again for Johnny’s after a successful rebuild last year, thus, bolsters their chances of having a more competitive team. Roster updates for Red Pepper unknown to this point as that documentation is typically submitted 6 minutes before puck drop on the first night, assuming the wifi is working in the locker room.
Johnny’s Key Returners: R. Olson, T. Mutscher, Z. Murphy, A. Sauve Pepper Key Returners: None
BWW vs. Bonzers
BWW struggled offensively a season ago, ranking 9th in the league due in part to the losses of Breidenbach and Verke on the blueline. Waivers are still trickling in for the Wild Wings with little knowledge of new recruits but possibly another heavy workload for Westereng and seasoned veterans Aarvig and Seng. Bonzers…. Forx Hockey’s Bad News Bears….until now? Bonzers coming in hot with additions this year. With some fresh Central hockey graduates, Coach Paranica is expected to man the bench for this contest in an emotional reunion. I used to know the last time Bonzers won a game but fear I would break the website trying to look back that far. They might not have to wait long this year for it to happen.