Commish's Corner© is a highly detailed and in-depth make believe look into Forx Hockey Leagues weekly matchups and other current events. Some of the names and locations may have been changed for no reason in particular...

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In case you missed it: Adams and Johnny’s completed the toilet bowl championship with maybe Adams winning it?? When creating the mini tournament I did not factor a tie into either of the games as being an outcome which may have goofed that up. But regardless of that, it ended in close fashion and great games.

AE2S played Bonzers in the consolation semi’s and an instant classic was had. The game was back and forth for goals with AE2S pulling away in the waning minutes. As did Golf Center against BWW, scoring in the final minute to setup a coveted 5th place matchup.

Meanwhile the 2 semi-final games were possibly the 2 contests that were the least entertaining but despite that the MF’ers will play Rumors in the 3rd place game. Also of note, I rambled on for what felt like forever bragging about how Rumors was so successful playing with 7 players, then stupidly they played with 8 in the semifinal. Hope they bring 8 again.


End of the year synopsis: This season is going to end in the month of February which really feels strange. But after calling in a favor to some friends in the Artic Circle, we will at least finish with some temperatures that feel like hockey season.

I’m a man of statistics. Each week I spend nearly 17 hours dissecting beer league teams in a weekly pick that I keep record of as seen above. Statistically speaking, this was one of my worst seasons on picking games correctly. This is a great thing. I’ve mentioned it throughout the year, but this shows the parity that was brought back to the league this season and the level of competition balance out. Yes, there was a ‘top team’ and a couple that rounded out the bottom but the games were closer as a whole.

With that being said, thank you to all the competitors and your weekly attendance. Win or lose, I hope you enjoyed the season. I again praise the respect shown by fellow competitors and the camaraderie the team’s display. Thank you to the volunteers behind the scenes and as always… thanks to the referees and their commitment to keeping this thing afloat. The final pick is in….

Week 17 Finale Pick

Red Pepper vs. NDAD/Southgate Broods

The finale is here. The RP’s are playing in their 5th championship while the Broods are playing in their 6th. The RP’s have won 4 titles with the Broods winning their 2nd title last year in what was arguably the best game I’ve seen since the league was incepted. The 23-24 Broods led the league with an undefeated season and looked very dominant throughout most of it. Meanwhile, the RP’s battled their way into a 2nd seed in the bracket but showed at times they were beatable. The RP’s have not been here often but  will enter the game as the underdawg’s. This game is loaded with beer league talent. Featured tonight will be the leagues Forbey Baker award winner and season point leader in RP’s Grant Johnson who continues to put ridiculous numbers up; the rookie of the year at age 36 in Jacques Lamoureux with 44 points and counting; and the goalie of the year in Broods Nate Bradbury who has continued to be a league best in a for the most part statistically undocumented way. I’ve always been hard on the RP’s(rightfully so), but every league needs a villain 😊. I’m sure theres one…or two nice guys on there and maybe one day I’ll find out… For now, as former Ground Round alliance members and due to family bias, I’ll lean towards the Broods ending the 7-year plague of the regular season winner not winning the championship.

Broods 6-4


Week 16 Playoff Picks

In case you missed it: Consolation Bracket play continues for the 5th coveted spot in the league between GC vs BWW and Bonzers vs. AE2S

Meanwhile the Adams and Johnny’s ToiletBowl continues with the best of 3 series after Johnny’s took game 1. A 10-minute 3v3 Sudden Death to commence in the event Adams wins game 2 immediately following the conclusion.

The Forx Frozen Four picks are in…

Matt Fac vs. Broods

The semi-finals consist of the same 4 teams as last year where as the Broods and RP’s have flip flopped their top seeds. In my time of meticulously scouting how to beat the top teams in the league, the Rumors team has gained my interest as they have taken some of the leagues best in doing so by using the bare minimum of players. 7 to be exact. The MF’ers will adopt this strategy. Likely benching the Lukkason tandem, Brown, Haley, Jennewein and Huttunen, leaving the core and strongest remainder to coast on. The Broods have also agreed that they will have to make 12 passes inside the zone before they are allowed to take a shot on net; which is currently one more pass then what they normally do against the MF’ers. The Broods dominated the one and only meeting these two squads had on Thanksgiving Eve, but the MF’ers were positively able to keep it within two touchdowns losing 13-1. The odds are heavily in the Broods favor to return to the championship in hopes to repeat last season’s victory.

Broods 9-4

Rumors vs. Red Pepper

I gave a tiny hint in the last scripture of what would be discussed here. 7 bros. Rumors beat a loaded AE2S dream team of dorks who many would argue were a favorite to cause some chaos leading into the championship contenders. With the gift of time on the clock entering the 3rd down 2-1, the magnificent 7 were able to string together a 4-goal 3rd period, capping it off with a short-handed GWG by Edevold with a handful of seconds left on the clock. Beer league stories like this give even thick-skinned Commish’s like myself goosebumps. The RP’s had their hands full last week as the Bonzers squad finished their playoff run with their heads high in what was a highly entertaining contest. Many spectors anticipated a blowout perhaps but the RP’s were able to muscle their way to the finish. These 2 squads played each other once during the regular season where the RP’s won 5-3. Plenty of offense expected here in what could be another candidate for a game of the year. Many might like to see different teams in the finale but Rumors will need lightning to strike twice to pull off another upset.

Pepper 7-6


Week 15 Playoff Picks

BWW vs. Broods

This weeks playoff night becomes a true test between love for the game and love of significant other that will be instantly p!ssed the minute you leave the house on valentines day after giving her a $2.91 cents worth of Hershey kisses. Good luck to all the fellow bros as they embark on their night. BWW was able to check the boxes to extend their playoff lives in what looked like a flat, ‘who really wants to win this game?’, affair against Adams last week. They’ll now face the formidable concrete wall in the Broods who did show signs of weakness but will remind everyone of the nature of the exhibition week being easily forgotten. Broods roll on to the next round.

Broods 8-2

Bonzers vs. Red Pepper

Somewhat speechless as Bonzers for the first time ever has made the round of 8. It took 8 years and 3 different sponsor name changes but they will play for honorable glory against an RP team that will almost certainly squander their playoff dreams. But for 7… 7 full days they have savored the moment. Bonzers has had some good things happen this year… they ended a 3 year winless streak and fed off some former Central Knight spark plugs added to their roster. A rebuilding year that had some highlights to speak of. The RP’s didn’t let off the gas last week and likely wont here. Despite goal differential being meaningless in the post season, they will likely put up a crooked number in this contest.

RP 10-2

Rumors vs. AE2S

Rumors finished their season with a 6-6-1 record. I’ve stated it before but when you watch their gameplay that record doesn’t reflect accordingly in relation to beer league science. AE2S was the most improved team year over year and rightfully so after solid recruitment. Finishing 8-5 this season, they will now play Rumors for the 3rd time this season. Tonight’s fun fact is 2 of the 5 losses for AE2S came against Rumors, which certainly makes this pick a tricky one. By the numbers, the teams are nearly equal when it comes to goals scored and against on the year. It’s hard not to go with the team that’s done it twice already…

Rumors 6-5 OT

Golf Center vs. Mattress Factory

The GC’s should have the freshest legs in the round of 8 tomorrow after a league no-no no-show last week. In cooperation with the league, to avoid league banishment consequences, the GC’s have gladly and graciously accepted the 9:00pm time slot for the remainder of the season and have issued a formal apology in that respect to their future opponents the next 2 upcoming weeks. 2 team sponsors that share a wall together and will be soon enough neighbors on the south end of town, have coordinated a shared team pregame potluck that will be located near the east fire exit door of Mattress Factory. Those two squads met in the same game a year ago that saw the MF’ers barely sneak by in upset fashion. The GC’s have a dominant skill set while the MF’ers feature the league’s ageless wonders. Riding a 5-game win streak for the MF squad, the goaltenders will likely decide the outcome in this game on who can shut down the opposition’s workforce better.

GC 5-4 OT


Week 14 Playoff Picks

Adams vs. Buffalo Wild Wings

Last week, I rambled on about the utter excitement the league was experiencing with the ability for 9 teams to move around and shake up the standings. No one moved. All that research and analysis squandered. With that said, week 14 looks a lot week 13 for 4 teams. Theres nothing new to discuss. Makeshift rosters and revolving doors associated with goalies most of the season for both. Rebuilding seasons for both squads with one last chance to push on to play in the next round……against the Broods 😊.  The teams split the season series. BWW is 1-6 in playoff appearances. 6 of those being play-in games. The numbers favor Adams to play better than what their season record displayed. A great opportunity for some 3v3 out of the gates.

Adams 6-5

Bonzers vs. Johnny’s

After the referees last week were absent attempting to form a Union, which failed to pass the Commissioners desk, they’ll be back in action tonight. Bonzers either took advantage of the happy hour time slot at their sponsor or utilized the first 12 weeks of the season to analyze players and make cuts going into week 13. With 7 bros on hand, surprisingly, they just weren’t able to muster much against a fully loaded Johnnys squad. Johnny’s needs to be careful this week. Bonzers will likely bring in a few more of the fellas and Johnny’s will need to be ready for a more up-tempo style after last week’s one-sided affair.

Johnny’s 6-4


Week 13 Picks

Bonzers vs. Johnny’s

Entering the final week of the regular season, this will be the first time 9 teams will have an unsecured seed going into the playoffs. What we do know, is these two teams will be in play-in games next week and with a Johnny’s win, could find themselves playing each other back-to-back weeks. Johnny’s has been on spin-dry since heading into the Christmas break when they had a 5-2 record and were amongst the top of the leader board. Since then, they’ve been on a 5-game losing streak with a -27 goal differential arguably having one of the tougher back half strength of schedules. Bonzers has yet to find a standout difference maker, but the rebuilding has been showing face. Johnny’s last win was against Bonzers and they dominated the contest with a huge first period. Johnny’s has the firepower to move on and could be my candidate for sleeper teams in the postseason.

Johnny’s 6-3

Red Pepper vs. Golf Center

Golf Center sits at the 5-spot with the ability to move up or move down 1 seed in either direction. The GC’s first meeting with the RP’s was an instant classic where they eventually fell in a shootout. Both teams relied on heavy production from their top point getters in Johnson&Johnson©. With the league lacking reliable sources, Forx fans will assume R. Johnson and G. Johnson are brothers similar to the Kratochvil twins found on the GC team. Quite the hockey family. Plenty of offense on hand with a prime time game slot. Pepper has been able to put teams away with big periods late, likely to happen again here.

Pepper 6-5

Broods vs. AE2S

Broods is the only team that knows their position…..for the last 3 weeks. They’ll take on an AE2S team of international misfits that will finish the regular season with their first ever winning record and will avoid playing in the play-in round for the 3rd time. The 2S’s were able to keep things tight with the Broods a month ago but eventually gave way to the onslaught. Despite the positivity in the engineering lab, the Broods will finish the regular season undefeated.

Broods 7-4

Mattress Factory vs. Rumors

These two teams share the same fluidity? to bounce around the middle of the pack depending on their outcome. A win for the MF’ers would likely set up a rematch against the GC’s in two weeks. A loss and possibly a drop to 6th playing AE2S. Rumors squad is arguably one of the best despite their record. Top bro of the week, R. Edevold, has blossomed into a beer league flower in his 2nd campaign and trending towards a 1st Forx All-Team player selection. He’ll matchup up against a player whos made that selection in M. Lukkason who recently won the race to 200 points. Lukkason’s accolades should not go unnoticed when you look at the path he took to get there. Achieving zero exercise 6 days a week and then lubing the body with 3 cold ones pregame; then, lining up with a man that flirts retirement every other shift in A. Theisen, and being centered by another man that has had more made up injuries than artificial intelligence can even come up with in J. Brown; that’s HBO Bryant Gumble documentary stuff right there. Anyways, Rumors goes for the season sweep.

Rumors 6-5

Adams vs. Buffalo Wild Wings

Like Johnny’s and Bonzers, there is a strong possibility this is another rinse and repeat. Both teams have literally experienced the same issues all season. Their respective rosters have changed dramatically one year to the next with heavy doses of retirements. Goalie issues have plagued Adams all year and BWW has most recently lost their starter, Semmens, when he tore his ACL while watching an NFL Playoff game, continuing his bender, going for his 4th Berry Blast Capri-Sun of the night and slipped near the fridge. A hot mess on both sides of the rink. Cointoss.

Adams 7-6


Week 12 Picks

Bonzers vs. Rumors

Rumors was able to pull off an impressive and improbable victory last week. Defying standard beer league science and addition by subtraction mathematics, beat a 3-lines deep AE2S team with 7 rostered players. It was documented the only time R. Edevold left the ice during the game was when he breezed by the bench to update his twitter he scored another goal after potting 5. Bonzers only chance this week is hoping the Rumors players become visually disoriented with their plaid outfits.

Rumors 8-2

Adams vs. Johnny’s

Adams rebuilding phase was in present tense last week with some muscly armed bros in the lineup to help. A very common practice in the league by waiting until your squad goes 0-10 to realize you need another body or two…but in their defense they did have some early season retirements. Johnny’s is in a downward spiral after dropping their last 4. With morale plummeting, they’ll need to rebound here to savor the chance at an above .500 regular season, which is something they have not been able to do since league inception.

Johnny’s 6-5

BWW vs. Matt Fac

I don’t want to say that you maybe overlook another team, but Matt Fac narrowly moved on last week against an Adams team that did not reflect their winless record. Their next opponent will be similar. After watching BWW’s battle last week against Bonzers, BWW will again rely heavily on Lehmbeckers knack to find any way to score and Danny Rays heavy shot. The MF’ers get the nod as M. Lukkason will be battling for the leagues 1st 200 point player. A stat in which the Commish will need the league to continue for approximately 22.5 more years for him to join Lukkason in that regard.

Matt Fac 7-3

Golf Center vs. AE2S

The Engi-nerds follow up their underated performance against their familiar foes in GC this week. In fact, both teams suffered unexpected lopsided losses. AE2S won the first go around with a balanced attack. Likely the game of the night on hand as both speed and muscly, physical statures will be on display for Forx fans. Been a while since we had a coin-toss.

GC 8-7

Broods vs. Red Pep

The preview to February 28th? Broods won the regular season after last week. I will say it now and likely again in a few weeks: in the previous 7 seasons, the team that won the regular season did not go on to win the Championship. I’ll let the readers at home stew on that one for a bit…          The graveyard contest will likely see a Red Pepper squad in shambles as the old fogey’s in Miskavage, Vigen, Tofte, and Robinson tuning in from bed. Because of that… Broods stays undefeated.

Broods 9-5


Week 11 Picks

Mattress Factory vs. Adams

With the Commish out of the lineup, the MF’ers were barely able to sneak by with a redemption victory against Johnny’s, splitting the season series. Adams was on the schedule last week but no one showed up. The rebuilding phase for Adams will continue this week as they work through the ‘stay in the league’ petition process.

MF 8-3

NDAD vs. Golf Center

The fast and furious XI. In their 11th meeting, the Broods look to continue their perfect season and a season sweep after dominating the first time around with hat tricks by J. Lammy and D. Hovet, week 1. Broods leads the all-time series at 6-4. Golf Center will be leaning on twin brothers, J. and T. Kratochvil to begin their 2nd half point push after T. Kratochvil’s, 2-point night last week. The Kratochvil’s also plan to participate in an study before puck drop to find out if they are actually related in some way. Possibly the feel-good story of the season if so….

NDAD 8-5

Red Pepper vs. Johnny’s

Johnny’s has stalled out the last 3 weeks and now sitting in the middle with a 5-5 record. With plenty of firepower on hand, they need to eliminate the ‘big’ periods teams have been able to run up the score and keep things close. They’ll do so against a Red Pepper team looking to rebound quickly after a loss of their own. RP jumped out early and often in the first week of the season and things could rinse and repeat.

RP 9-4

BWW vs. Bonzers

Well… it had to happen. It’s been 1,127 days since the Bonzers team had a number in their win column. Their last win came in December of 2020. At that time: Joe Biden was elected President, Bad Guy by Billie Eilish was the top song, Tiger King and that god damned Carole Baskin were the talk of every Zoom call, Murder Hornets completed their U.S. migration, and Covid-19 was celebrating its first birthday. What a time to be alive. Unfortunately, Forx Analytics has their next win predicted on Wednesday, February 17, 2027.

BWW 5-4

AE2S vs. Rumors

AE2S continues to turn heads as those dorks knocked off the Red Pepper with a 4-3 victory. Amazingly, this was their 1st win against the RP’s since 2/26/20 which was a decisive quarterfinal game. Rumors dominated the first matchup this year with a 5-1 victory with an emphasis in conditioned players. Rumors is in unfamiliar territory in the standings but are a threat each week. J. W. in net for AE2S might be the swing vote against the legendary People’s goalie this time around.

AE2S 7-5


Week 10 Picks

BWW vs. Golf Center

With week 10 upon us, that means all teams have had the chance to ‘get a sniff of each other’s jock straps’ as we now turn the page to the back half of the season. BWW with the upset of the season as they were able to knock off Rumors last week. Lehmbecker led the squad with 4 points and Aarvig was able to tally 2 for himself after switching to a left-handed stick. Unfortunately, lightning doesn’t strike twice as they will go against a loaded GC team.

GC 7-4

AE2S vs. Red Pepper

Last week the league had 10 teams play with 4 rostered goalies on the night. With AE2S’s Wuitschick returning from a cheese related sabbatical, they’ll try to continue their unprecedented and super surprising season. These two met just a few weeks back and was an instant classic with the Pepper pulling away late in the 3rd. Wuitschick was playing some of his best netminding before the break, but RP’s puck movement between Lund, Johnson and Uglem will likely be the difference in this one.

RP 6-4

Rumors vs. Broods

Rumors suffered a tough loss last week and now faces off against the Broods powerhouse. Similar to the aforementioned blog post, these two squads recently played in their own instant classic which favored the Broods late in the 3rd as well. The story of the night here is the recognition of Iron Man, D. Hovet, who will suit up for his league leading 100th game(fellow teammate Benke playing in his 99th). ((For all you fact checkers, Sauve shows 102 but he’s a weird goalie that’s plays like 3 games a night.)) Broods will stay unbeaten.

Broods 5-3

Bonzers vs. Adams

2 teams playing for the 1st pick in next years highschool graduating class. These two teams tied each other the first time around. The last match was highly entertaining and should be again.

Adams 5-4

MF vs. Johnny’s

The Commish making local headlines this week after the List was finally released to the public after months of speculation and anticipation and his name being on it. Despite a media frenzy the Commish released a statement, “I’m not proud of it and will look for support from my family during this time”.  The List, seen here. Johnny’s took round 1 earlier this season on a night where Sauve played like a God. The Factory workers split the season series.

MF 5-4


Week 9 Picks

Red Pepper vs. Adams

The ‘play everyone once’ gauntlet comes to an end this week. The RP’s were dominant the first half of the season with G. Johnson leading the charge. After finishing the 2022-23 campaign with 74 regular season points, Johnson enters this week with 38 points with a projection of 57 to wrap up by week 13, signaling a large decline in skill, speed, teamwork, more of the skill… according to Forx Hockey NextGen stat generator tools. Adams meanwhile begins the 2nd half of their season with the flu.

Pepper 12-4

Johnny’s vs. Golf Center

Johnny’s looks to continue their 1st half success. They will do so against another of the ‘Big 4’ this week in GC after playing a commendable game against the Broods before the break. Johnny’s sits 4th amongst the group despite having a -3 goal differential. GC, right behind them, looks to claim that spot feeding off B. Holien and R. Johnson’s first half success.

GC 7-5

Bonzers vs. Matt Fac

With the holidays in the rearview and the depression that there’s not another holiday for like 3 months, the Commish is now getting back into the day-to-day league activities. After the extra week off, I’ll start by drinking my first glass of water since December 20th when this bender began. Both teams get to ease back into the season after the 2 weeks of fatness and 0 cardio as they both sit amongst the bottom of the polls.

GR 5-4

BWW vs. Rumors

The league is hopeful the BWW’s were able to unwrap some goal scorers to compliment Lehmbecker to start 2024. BWW’s Aarvig is hoping to put up 2nd half numbers that hes accustomed to after realizing he played the 1st half of the season with a right handed stick. Rumors front end speed is too much for Semmens between the pipes

Rumors 9-2

Broods vs. AE2S

AE2S had a stupid win against the Mattress Factory before the break which will require some fact checking to see when the last time those dorks pulled that off. Unless there is any bit of Christmas magic left in anyones hockey bag, they’ll likely have their hands full against a Broods team that ran the table on all its opponents thus far. Broods are too dominant here and the loss of Wuitschick in net for AE2S is noticeable as he’ll be in Wisconsin this week on the back end of a cheese variety convention.

GR 9-4


Week 8 Picks

Johnny’s vs. Broods

Last week was a great week for 50/50 games as the league parity showed that any of the matchups could have gone either way. Broods played in a nightcap affair against a Rumors team that would not give up but eventually succumbed to the Broods relentless onslaught. Johnny’s bounced back from a week 6 loss and again have made their presence known this season doing so with a balanced attack with a few folks contributing. Broods took care of business shorthanded last week and will keep the Johnny’s roster busy.

Broods 9-4

AE2S vs. Matt-Fac

Since his retirement, Matt-Fac has been working with the leagues Hydrologist, M. Stjern, after concerns of hydration issues stemming from their thickly woven, reversable jerseys acquired this season. A standard issue jersey weighs 17 ounces on average with Matt-Facs sweaters weighing in at 211 ounces. Players have been combatting the weight problem by eliminating, breezers, shin pads, nut cups, and fasting Mondays and Tuesdays, etc. The memo you just read is a preemptive excuse in the event the Mattress makers lose the game. AE2S still solidifying their roster into week 8 but are nearly finalized after Canadian newcomer, L. Thompson, recently signed his waiver. Like the Tommy Boy movie quote states, “New guys in the corner puking his guts out”, Thompson found himself hunched over a garbage can to start last weeks 3rd period. It’s likely he’s still adjusting to the North Dakota altitude.

AE2S 7-6

Rumors vs. Adams

What used to be a storied rivalry has now dwindled away due to age. With my repetitive narrative on Adams regression and a Rumors team that skates like they are trying to race former speed skater Dan Jansen for 51 minutes, the teams may be on different levels these days. Rumors record in the standings does not reflect the roster on hand. No panic in the locker room and they’ll finish with a winning record going into the break.

Rumors 8-2

Bonzers vs. Pepper

Bonzers has had a tough few gam…..years and some challenges along the way. Pepper has been one of those challenges with Pepper outscoring Bonzers 80-24 in their 9 career meetings. Tonight, Pepper has a 68-goal differential advantage, but… it was a 76-goal differential this time last year. League analytics anticipate by the year 2031 that Bonzers will have then closed the gap and be ready for the rivalry to be born.

RP 11-3

BWW vs. Golf Center

BWW was able to snap a 5-game skid but now face a brick wall in the attempt to starting a winning streak. Lehmbecker is leading the charge while a revamped D. Ray looks like a finely tuned, muscly armed gazelle on the ice this season. Rejoining the team after last playing in the 2017-2018 campaign for one game, Ray has shattered his career points with 2 on the season. BWW will be leaning heavily on Lehmbecker and Ray moving forward.  Meanwhile the GC’s lost last week in one of the aforementioned 50/50 contests. Like the Rumors team, they should enter the holiday break with a winning record.

GC 8-3



Week 7 Picks

BWW vs. Adams

BWW’s, B. Langerrud, is currently working through a disciplinary issue with the Forx front office involving star forward J. Lehmbecker. With a deal likely in place, the two parties have agreed to bench A. Kieffer and obvious submission, D. Palmcisino, in a tradeoff to ensure Lehmbecker is cleared for play. Meanwhile, Adams limped through last weeks game with 7 attendees and will need a couple more bros come to life as two of the top teams of the bottom of the standings……. Face off. Adams get their 1st win of the season.

Adams 7-6

Golf Center vs. Matt-Fac

With the Commish out of the lineup last week, it was an absolute coincidence that Matt-Fac played their best game of the young season. Muscling through what felt like 15 different stories of how good they played by various teammates in the locker room after, the Commish is now prepared to rejoin the team this week and get back to delivering turnover pizzas to the opposition in the offensive zone….. and then have to explain to his linemates how badly out of position they were. Bragging rights are on the line on who can walk next door Thursday morning and puff their chest as both sponsors share a wall.

GC 7-5

Bonzers vs. Johnny’s

The surprise of the season has been a Johnny’s team that has been a top tier team this season riding the coattails of some close games being the only team with a winning record despite having a negative goal differential. Johnny’s strength of schedule becomes challenging to end the month and cannot overlook a Bonzers team that is sneakily getting better each week. Johnny’s moves on.

Johnny’s 7-5

Broods vs. Rumors

This contest looks to bless Forx fans with some high end speed and creativity. The Rumors, Breslin-Knudson-Edevold, combo is a delight to watch. Broods easily counter back with a line like, J. Douce-Wurden-J. Lamoureux and P. Lamoureux on the bench, with their own creative juices. The Broods are just too deep here.

Broods 8-4

Red Pepper vs. AE2S

I think I speak for everyone when I say it was much better when the AE2S dorks were busy doing math and knowing how to calculate how many ounces of Busch Light per second I consume post-game in the locker room. But now here we are in week 7, with them sitting amongst the top of the leader board playing a top-3 contest. 2S’s strength of schedule upcoming to finish out the first round of the regular season will be a true test to see how they fit in the league. AE2S's success is generated after proudly remastering their lineup as Forx Hockeys first multi-national team comprised of a Czech, some Canadians, Italians, and a German goalie. Tonight, they’ll take that squad against a team of Russians.

Pepper 7-6



Week 6 Picks

Bonzers vs. Rumors

Seth Wilhelmi joined the Rumors team in the offseason sporting an 88 jersey on the ice. A jersey worn by long time veteran J. Kouba. With the recent developments of Kouba rejoining the team after sitting out the ‘first few hard weeks’ of the seasons strength of schedule, Wilhelmi in a true Forx Hockey gentlemens gesture has given up his jersey inspired by the Daniel Sprong/Patrick Kane story. Wilhelmi on the heartfelt gesture for veteran Kouba, “he sent me like 26 texts asking for it back, seemed like the only thing I could do”. Bonzers players have coordinated efforts to bring extra stick tape for Wilhelmi to create a new number on his jersey after half the Bonzers roster plays jersey number roulette week to week.

Rumors 7-2

Matt Fac vs. Red Pepper

If theres one week the Mattress makers mark on their calendars when the schedule is released…its not this one. The RP’s are coming off a dominant come from behind victory last week feeding heavily off special teams and a big 3 goal 3rd period. The RP’s registered 2 powerplay goals and 1 shorthanded on the night. Mattress Factory taking notes: don’t play shorthanded, don’t play with a man advantage, try to avoid double digit goals against.

RP 9-4

Broods vs. BWW

Broods are on coast mode and look unstoppable to start the season leading the league in goals scored and goals against. Meanwhile BWW is on survival mode with Lehmbecker and Aarvig trying to keep the team afloat. Unfortunately, a lot to a little in this one.

GR-B 10-3

AE2S vs. Johnny’s

Johnny’s debuted new jerseys and continued their winning streak to 4. More impressively is AE2S finds themselves on a 4-game win streak as well and currently in 2nd place. I’ve never seen either team this high in the rankings. With Mattress Factory freefalling in the standings, the league is likely to fold if these teams continue to keep this pace. Despite that little nugget of info, this game should be highly entertaining for two teams that have brought some parity back to the mix. Two of the top goaltenders between the pipes in this one.

AE2S 5-4

Adams vs. Golf Center

Speaking of freefalling. Adams boarded this years plane with no parachutes. They’ll face off against a GC’s team that is coming off a tough shootout loss to Pepper a week ago. After a dominant 1st period the Peppers battled back to win the aforementioned shootout. Likely will be another lopsided game. With that, if you’ve made it this far in the scripture… a special thanks and congratulations to Adams long time veteran Ryan Bacskai who celebrated his retirement from the U.S. Airforce this weekend. He now looks forward to his next career move; a worm hunting guide.

GC 9-3


Week 5 Picks

BWW vs. Johnny’s

The leadup to the Thanksgiving holiday last week ended in some wacky ways…and possibly controversial? Johnny’s was able to pull off a late, game tying goal and eventually end the contest in a shootout. Video review efforts are underway as an apparent Rumors goal was possibly scored just prior to the game tying play? League officials are asking for fans or any of the general public to come forward with any information regarding the incident. All phone calls to Johnny’s players for personal statements have gone straight to voicemail. Johnny’s is 7-0 in their last 7 meetings and looks like the odds are against the BWW’s as they still look for consistency in the offensive zone.

Johnny’s 8-2

Bonzers vs. NDAD/Broods

Bonzers was unable to pull off the long-awaited W in the standings after jumping out to a 3-0 lead last week. Unfortunately, any hopes and dreams of piggy backing off of last week’s tight game will likely be squashed minutes into this contest. Broods dominated who what was thought to be their friends, last week against the Mattress Fac, will blow by again this week. Running time will begin immediately here.

NDAD 15-2

Adams vs. AE2S

AE2S turned heads with a dominant performance. Likely going to more than my usual ‘sleeper team’ playoff time as they have put together a few good weeks and the new nerds on the roster are looking sharp. Adams limped to a tie against Bonzers to fend off the historic moment. AE2S has been known to play to their opponent’s level… not sure what level Adams is on right now but in years past they can be the team to beat.

AE2S 7-3

Golf Center vs. Red Pepper

Golf Center was outsmarted last week against the Engineers. Playing with a short bench last week, they’ll need to get Lamoine and Aamott back in the lineup to add to their edge. Missing key players, along with early retired M. Stjern who is the team’s full time puck polisher, they have been arguably the most unpredicatable team to start off this season. Peppers G. Johnson likely to sit out this contest in an effort to “Let someone else play” after logging 49 of 51 minutes last game in a 12-point night.

Pepper 9-5

Mattress Factory vs. Rumors

After an afternoon of scouring submitted waivers, the Commish was able officially determine that his declining team is currently the oldest team in the league at 35.33 years of age. Broods checking in at 2nd; 34.69. Opposing teams were becoming increasingly suspicious why each week every member of the Mattress Factory roster was listed as ‘Questionable’ in the media guide. As the Mattress Makers continue to live one game at a time, Rumors has no interest in listening to another recap of last week so lets just move on. These two squads split their season series a year ago. The verdict is out on whether Kouba will be on the ice tomorrow after lingering uncomfortably around the building the first 3 weeks of the season reminiscing the glory days; then playing last week and popping off for 7 points for a 3rd bro of the week appearance. Likely another close affair.

MF 6-5


Week 4 Picks

AE2S vs. Golf Center

Thanksgiving is always a special time of year where families come together around the dinner table and reconnect. Perfect opportunities for guys like J. Solc to attempt to convince his immediate family that his beer league career is blossoming at age 39. When the reality is he aging faster than the league average. Golf Center looks to pile on another lopsided week after a convincing win against Rumors with Johnson and Holien off to fast starts. These two franchises know each other well with some friendly rivalries to boot, which have made for some fast, competitive games. Historically, GC has always found that extra 3rd period goal to secure the win.

GC 6-5

Mattress Factory vs. NDAD

The artists formerly known as the GR twins now representing the league under new alias’s reunite in the Turkey Day Extravaganza. All eyes on the Commish this week as he’s been fighting a head cold before the holidays. Pregame meal prep has been set with a bologna sandwich to build a light base in the stomach and substituting mayonnaise for Vicks VapoRub to help keep the airways clear by game time. Matt Fac considered a favorite to win if J Douce, R. Douce, Lazur, R. Kuntz, D. Kuntz, Wurden, Johs, Jacobi, J Lamoureux, Benke, Bancroft and D. Hovet are all out for tonights game. Fingers crossed.

NDAD 10-4

BWW vs. Red Pepper

After being shut out last week, BWW’s Palmiscno requested an archive check to their last time that had happened. Likely, to his disappointment, this was the 4th time in league history BWW went scoreless with the last time coming in a playoff game in the 2021-22 campaign. Also disappointing is Red P handed them their first ever league shut out years before that. Red Peppers roster has only gotten deeper in that time with the odds against BWW for a possible back-to-back occurrence. Peppers G. Johnson looking to answer back after his worst career night last week with a measly 2 goals. Unfortunately, those two goals would be enough to put him 2nd in points on the BWW’s top 5 list.

Pepper 10-1

Bonzers vs. Adams

Adams is on life support. Since the league was incepted, this is the first time Adams has started a season 0-3. Based on goal differential they find themselves in the 10-spot coming in to week 4. Bonzers players comfortably sitting back sipping on an Old Milwaukee with the ‘we know how ya feel’ mentality after reading that last blurp. Two cellar dweller teams as it stands today but might be the most entertaining game of the night.

Adams 6-5

Rumors vs. Johnny’s

Rumors suffering back to back losses after playing 2 week’s worth of the Big 4. Hope your sitting down for this one… Forx Hockey’s Fun Fact of the Week—Rumors has never lost to Johnny’s. I encourage all 6 of you readers at home to do their own research on if theres any other scenarios such as this. But for now, that’s an impressive feat. 12-0 all-time. Johnny’s is rebuilt this time around. They have guys that can match speed and bury it. Rumors needs a few more of the fellas other than just Edevold to contribute. Maybe THIS is the most entertaining game of the night?

Rumors 7-6


Week 3 Picks

Broods vs. Pepper

The Wednesday Matinee features a rematch to last years championship, and the championship before that and the championship before that…and possibly this year’s championship…? In what many may say was the best game in the history of the league last March, this week’s contest will reunite many of the familiar faces from both sides. Two of the league’s top scorers, J Douce and G. Johnson are averaging 3 and 4 points per night, respectively. The Broods J. Lamoureux and Bancroft signings look like they will pay off in the long run. Meanwhile the verdict is still out on if the young gun frat members in Youngren, Bullinger, Yaeger, and Moser can lead Pepper back on to the Championship party list. With temperatures to be near 56 degrees on November 15th at game time, players likely to be wearing shorts and T-shirts for the game. Broods take round 1.

Broods 7-5

Golf Center vs. Rumors

Rounding out “The Big 4”, GC vs. Rumors. Plenty of speed and two teams that like to pass the puck. Rumors strength of schedule favors them thus far playing two highly competitive teams to start the season. GC, despite scoring two touchdowns (missing an extra point) last week, needs to prepare themselves for the other end of the spectrum as they teeter totter yet again. These two squads split their season series a year ago which led to the eventual rock, paper, scissor playoff tie break. More of the same here.

Rumors 5-4

Adams vs. Johnny’s

Adams and their roster dilemmas again on hand to start the 23-24 campaign. Combat that with a few retirements, weight gain, and the continued growth of gray hair in weird places; the struggle is real. They will take that positivity against a Johnny’s team that looks revitalized to start this season possibly bringing back some of the parity the league needed. Sauve played like a beer league God last week which of course had to come against a 10-man Matt Fac team who peppered him with shots all night. According to Forx Hockey’s Next-Gen stats, Sauve made 206 saves on the night. Adam’s went 2 for 2 a year ago against Johnny’s. Despite Adams needing this game to avoid an 0-3 start, Johnny’s might have the extra firepower this time around.

Johnny’s 6-5

BWW vs. Matt Fac

Maybe not labeled the game of the week but this matchup has typically generated some close affairs. After a September transaction was completed, MF’s C. Waind will faceoff against his former squad likely wrapped in head-to-toe bubble wrap…for precaution. Many Forx fans anticipating the return of former BWW goalie A. Butters back to the ice but this time as a position player… to this point Butters has not yet played due to the fact of an equipment issue, allegedly lacking a $20 pair of mitts to participate. A GoFundMe has been created.

MF 8-4

Bonzers vs. AE2S

AE2S’s victory last week was fed off the heroics and toughness shown by long-time veteran J. Solc. After taking an inadvertent puck to the jugular mid-shift and combining that with fatness and age, the vodka in his veins helped secure the win. Bonzers still trying to find their identity yet again this season as they have yet to turn the corner with their new recruits who look like padded up linebackers out there. The 2S’s expected to pounce early.

AE2S 7-3


Week 2 Picks

Bonzers vs. Golf Center

Bonzers lost week one, but, won the spirit award. The team was able to generate enough buzz in their Facebook fan page to celebrate their loss in front of packed house of nearly 30 college folks. Firefighters were on scene at the Judd for a reported gas leak but was later determined it was a combination of marijuana and Axe Body spray in the air. The GC’s now play the other end of the spectrum this week and look to reset against a Bonzers squad featuring their own set of young gun rookies.

GC 7-4

Red Pepper vs. Rumors

Rumors had no new faces on display during the Season 8 Ice Extravaganza and looked like a well-oiled machine. Their speed created time and space against the Engineers… Red Pepper members are busy this week compiling data and entertaining various options for a tiered league payment to ‘encourage’ preferred game time slots. The plan is being worked on and expected to be presented at the next Forx Hockey board meeting, where it will be instantly rejected.

Pepper 7-6

AE2S vs. BWW

The Engineers look to have a promising lineup card this season. After goaltender J. Wuitschick was promoted to team manager due to the team unanimously ousting former manager, J. Solc, the squad has rebuilt and looks to be a strong contender to finish in 7th place this season…. BWW slide into week 2 as they heavily continue recruiting attempts despite little activity via LinkedIn and MySpace.

AE2S 7-4

Matt Fac vs. Johnny’s

The Mattress makers jumped out to an early lead and didn’t look back after feeding off 3 goals and 2 helpers from C. Jennewein catapulting his sophomore season off on the right skate. Johnny’s drew the Pepper card week 1 so its hard to accurately diagnose what their outlook might be. Traditionally very close games between these two squads.

MF 7-5

NDAD/SG vs. Adams

It’s always nice to get that first week behind you and get a chance to reflect upon how bad things just might be for your squad. The Adams team is working on their new identity after long time members: Litzinger, Pochatek, Geatz, and Martinson extinguished themselves from the active roster. I was able to speak bluntly there knowing I have a 9+ week buffer before our squads will meet again. No issues on the Broods home front as their offseason recruiting has now pushed Pierre Paul Lamoureux to the 2nd best Lamoureux in the league.

NDAD 10-2


Welcome back…. Some of you… Year 8 commences. The picks are in.

Week 1 Picks

AE2S vs. Rumors

As the rosters trickle in, I enjoy hearing where players were recruited from during the offseason. Some join teams after a summer of softball, others perhaps from the Pickleball courts, where AE2S utilizes the untapped local science fairs to fill out their lineup card. Rumors roster updates have yet to be submitted but the team is known to skate 363 days of the year and has had plenty of time to ‘tryout’ many different folks throughout the summer. Rumors has the week 1 edge as they’ll likely have the lungs all 3 periods.

Rumors 5-3

Broods vs. Golf Center

Golf Centers offseason was boring. After officially locking in L. Lamoine and likely reducing star forward M. Stjern to 28 seconds of playing time per game, they will enter week 1 with their core group. Meanwhile, Broods add a 2nd Lamoureux to the roster with expectation to have the Lamoureux sisters signed to the roster by Christmas to form Forx Hockey Leagues first family quartet. Broods uncharacteristically enters the season with a 13-man roster?? After last year’s championship victory in what many would say was the best Forx game thus far, Broods are primed for another run to the top.

Broods 6-3

Mattress Factory vs. Adams

This is a perfect matchup for two teams getting older and fatter. A few new names to the Adams roster with a couple partial retirement letters being sent in after years of threats of doing so from T. Litzinger and M. Sage. Matt Fac stole a player from BWW in C. Waind with the agreement he will go back there ‘if things don’t work out’, his addition coming after long time original Matt Fac member K. Cooksey to also slightly retire. Its worth noting, Cooksey will go down as registering 64 games played and logging 0 goals to his career. Impressive.

Matt Fac 5-4

Red Pepper vs. Johnny’s

Key players returning again for Johnny’s after a successful rebuild last year, thus, bolsters their chances of having a more competitive team.  Roster updates for Red Pepper unknown to this point as that documentation is typically submitted 6 minutes before puck drop on the first night, assuming the wifi is working in the locker room.

Johnny’s Key Returners: R. Olson,  T. Mutscher, Z. Murphy, A. Sauve       Pepper Key Returners: None

Pepper 7-3

BWW vs. Bonzers

BWW struggled offensively a season ago, ranking 9th in the league due in part to the losses of Breidenbach and Verke on the blueline. Waivers are still trickling in for the Wild Wings with little knowledge of new recruits but possibly another heavy workload for Westereng and seasoned veterans Aarvig and Seng. Bonzers…. Forx Hockey’s Bad News Bears….until now? Bonzers coming in hot with additions this year. With some fresh Central hockey graduates, Coach Paranica is expected to man the bench for this contest in an emotional reunion. I used to know the last time Bonzers won a game but fear I would break the website trying to look back that far. They might not have to wait long this year for it to happen.

Bonzers 6-4